25 June, 2009, 1157 am
Filed under: Film | Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Transformers 2 is the shittiest film I’ve ever seen in my life.  It was a painfully disgusting 2.5 hours.

Tasteless obscenity
Sexism all over the place
Racial stereotyping
Plot holes
Terrible acting
Terrible writing
Terrible cinematography
Megan Fox’s character = useless
Lack of foreshadowing/plot connectedness
Blatant glorification of the military
Blatant glorification of the US
Dissin’ France
Product placement galore
Unrealistic/stereotypical portrayal of college life
Subtle promotion of Christianity
Subtle dismissal of/lack of consideration for existentialism
A butcher shop complete with dead pigs hanging from their feet from ceilings

Yeah, if you don’t mind all of that, then you’ll probably like it.  And you’ll love that it all ends with a Linkin Park song.  That will be the icing on the cake.

14 June, 2009, 302 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

What if I only wore mascara to accentuate my eyeballs?  I thought about it, but the problem is that then you wouldn’t be able to touch my eyelashes without getting your fingers black and waxy.  You wouldn’t be able to feel just how soft they are (and soft they are, they really are), and butterfly kisses would just be a mess.

Then I thought, What if my eyes were blue or green?  Because that is something I’ve always wanted.  I can’t see myself with light eyes, though.  If I had light eyes, then I would take other people’s light eyes for granted.  That would be a terrible thing.  I also probably wouldn’t appreciate the chocolatey depths of Divya’s eyes, or the brown swirls within Carol’s hazel eyes.

I like to tell my mom that I got the short end of the genetics-stick.

This week, I’m going to Rhode Island on a long road trip.  I’m so excited, but it doesn’t feel like we’re leaving tomorrow.

The strange part is that I’m most excited for the car ride itself.  I love car rides.  I may enjoy bike rides a little more because of the lift I get from them (especially ones at midnight when I’m positive that someone is going to jump out of the darkness on the side of the road and grab me).  But car rides provide time for thinking.  You can be close to other people, so physically close, but so mentally distant.  I replay best scenes to music, I look out the window and think of the best places to have picnics, I think of what will happen when I see this person and this person and this person, I think of what if we all died right now.  I think of that a lot.

I’ve provided a mix for my adventures (even though I think that I won’t really need it, except for at times when nostalgia hits really hard, because Nathan’s will be more than sufficient).

I will post it when I get back.  But for now, I must present you with this outstaaaanding track.

I can’t say anything about it.  You just have to listen.  It’s urgent.

Cosmic Love | Florence And The Machine
[mf] [buy]

11 June, 2009, 323 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

I’ve got depression.

Who didn’t see this coming?

I didn’t.  I thought I just had a problem with anxiety, and that this is just how I am.  Or that it was an existential crisis.  Well, it is how I am and it’s a problem.  And it’s not just anxiety.  It’s depression.  The discovery was sudden and unexpected.  I had thought that my problems were just petty angst, and that I would grow out of it, and that no this is not depression; I’m just depressed for a spell.  When physical symptoms began to manifest themselves, I found that I was wrong.

It seems like I have many close friends who are bipolar.  So I can understand part of them, and they can understand me quite well.  I feel like this isn’t enough.  I feel inadequate.  They can support me, but it’s because my problem is petty and common and dull.  For me, it’s the same every day.  I’m depressed.  It’s unipolar.  I can’t support them, because their problem is complex.

There are so many books, memoirs, personal accounts of manic depressive disorder.  I want a memoir of someone who is coping with depression so I can feel maybe a little bit less alone.  I’m reading a memoir of a woman who has dealt for decades with manic depressive disorder.  It’s intriguing, but it’s not me.

I can see why I can’t find many (any?) memoirs about depression though, because it’s so common and because it would be one boring book.  When it’s really bad, I will am on the couch for hours and days at a time, not really wanting to eat anything, not really wanting to do anything.  I don’t want to move.  I find myself wondering when I will die and how I could die.  I am tired all day and I just want to sleep.  I don’t want to see anyone.  I just want to be by myself.  I am awake all night and I sleep all day.  Sometimes, I get the urge to run or bike hard and fast, but it’s always at an inconvenient hour.