INDIEchouette


DON’T DO THIS
2 March, 2009, 1230 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m excited because I bought an extremely aesthetically pleasing used bike for $65 ye–I mean Saturday.  It has a basket and a bell and it is the right height for my short body.  Did I ever tell you that I am short?  I am not even five-foot-three, and I never will be unless something awful or amazing happens.  I think that I normally leave that out (my height, I mean) because I find it atrocious.  It sucks being a short person with no ass.  I can’t stress this enough.  Plus, I know that a lot of people hate short people.  I love tall people.  I also love short people, but I hate seeing myself as such a short creature.  Also, a lot of males prefer women with thick thighs and firm, round asses.  I have no thighs and no ass.  On Friday, I tried to flex my thighs and I couldn’t because there is nothing.  So.  Fuck that.

I just saw lightning, maybe.  Or perhaps a bunch of people just died.  I don’t know.

The thing about my awesome bike is that I was exTREMEly excited to start riding it, regardless of climactic conditions.  So I did what any sane person would refrain from doing, and I rode it all the way from the MCV campus to Carytown so I could meet some elementary school friends at Galaxy Diner.  That is, according to Mapquest, four fucking miles.  It was freezing cold, too.  When I left for the Monroe Park campus, it was raining and sleeting.  And then when I finally got back to my dorm (via bus; I’m not that dumb), it began snowing.  So what did I do?  I went out with my friends and played in the snow for an hour!

I had a slight cough this morning upon waking, but it has now turned into a whole bile-ridden lung-hack.  And my feet are legitimately frozen, still soaked to the core some hours later.  But I had fun!  Let’s hope I don’t catch pneumonia and die.  I’m kind of afraid that I may have irritated my body so much that I will get something terrible like bronchitis.

Never again.

Do not follow my model.

Oh, but I need to tell you about stumbleupon.com.  It’s provided me with hours of amusement.  There’s art, there are games, there are fun facts.  It’s amazing!


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