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I’m excited because I bought an extremely aesthetically pleasing used bike for $65 ye–I mean Saturday. It has a basket and a bell and it is the right height for my short body. Did I ever tell you that I am short? I am not even five-foot-three, and I never will be unless something awful or amazing happens. I think that I normally leave that out (my height, I mean) because I find it atrocious. It sucks being a short person with no ass. I can’t stress this enough. Plus, I know that a lot of people hate short people. I love tall people. I also love short people, but I hate seeing myself as such a short creature. Also, a lot of males prefer women with thick thighs and firm, round asses. I have no thighs and no ass. On Friday, I tried to flex my thighs and I couldn’t because there is nothing. So. Fuck that.
I just saw lightning, maybe. Or perhaps a bunch of people just died. I don’t know.
The thing about my awesome bike is that I was exTREMEly excited to start riding it, regardless of climactic conditions. So I did what any sane person would refrain from doing, and I rode it all the way from the MCV campus to Carytown so I could meet some elementary school friends at Galaxy Diner. That is, according to Mapquest, four fucking miles. It was freezing cold, too. When I left for the Monroe Park campus, it was raining and sleeting. And then when I finally got back to my dorm (via bus; I’m not that dumb), it began snowing. So what did I do? I went out with my friends and played in the snow for an hour!
I had a slight cough this morning upon waking, but it has now turned into a whole bile-ridden lung-hack. And my feet are legitimately frozen, still soaked to the core some hours later. But I had fun! Let’s hope I don’t catch pneumonia and die. I’m kind of afraid that I may have irritated my body so much that I will get something terrible like bronchitis.
Do not follow my model.
Oh, but I need to tell you about stumbleupon.com. It’s provided me with hours of amusement. There’s art, there are games, there are fun facts. It’s amazing!
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