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Nowadays, I notice that girls and women have far better eyebrows than they have in the recent past. Today, I discovered the glory of a home-waxing kit. It was glorious. I’m still trying to find one that’s definitely vegan (that’s why I normally just pluck–I don’t think tweezers can be not-vegan). But right now, my eyebrows kick ass.
Beautiful eyebrows come in different shapes and sizes, obviously depending on the natural thickness and grain of the brow, the colour, and growing rate. Natural is best. But some girls don’t have a clue.
Upon browsing the interwebs for eyebrows today, I came across an extremely amusing but also incredibly alarming site, Weird and Ugly Eyebrows, a subsidiary of Ebaumsworld. This made me consider common mistakes.
1. OVERPLUCKING. This is a prominent problem in teenaged girls. One sign of overplucking is a uniform thinness and general shapelessness. Another symptom is a sperm-like shape, with a big oval near the inner corner of the eye and then a sudden uniform thinness. I don’t know why girls overpluck, especially considering the celebrity influence on the age group of typical offenders. Celebrities generally have awesome eyebrows.
WHAT TO DO: Do not touch your eyebrows until they’re fully grown in (which should take two to three weeks). If you need to touch up the middle, by all means, do it. But don’t touch the body at all. And trust me: You look sillier with overplucked brows than you do in the growing stages. Once you’ve managed to grow them in decently, get thee to someone with great brow technique, whether that’s just a friend or a salon worker. Ask for some shape, and ask them not to make them too thin.
2. OVERPLUCKING IN THE MIDDLE. I can understand where this comes from, since a unibrow is a problem. But when you overpluck in the middle, it makes your eyes look small and far apart. I know this because the only time I had my eyebrows waxed professionally, the woman was breathing on me heavily and even though the body of the brow was perfect, she waxed too much in the middle. When I saw them in a mirror, I cried. Then I filled them in with eye pencil and refused to leave the house for several days until my brows had retained enough bushiness in the middle.
WHAT TO DO: Maintain the body if it looks right, but don’t touch the middle. As they say, hold a pencil straight up from the inner corner of your eye, parallel to your face (I do not want to cause any eyeball poking, so do it right). The line you’ve formed shows where your eyebrows should end. So grow them in to that line (it should take two to three weeks) and maintain between those lines. If necessary, fill in with eye pencil for public outings.
3. UNIBROW. The unibrow is surprisingly not much of a problem with girls. Instead, I see a lot of guys with unibrows. Since it’s socially acceptable for guys to maintain whatever shape they naturally have, I guess they assume that this means everything plus unibrow. If it’s subtle, you might as well keep it, but supposing it’s noticeable, you might want to get in there with a pair of tweezers once a month…maybe once every two weeks, and take out the most prominent hairs.
WHAT TO DO: Either pluck the center yourself or go get them waxed. See 2 so you don’t overdo it.
4. PENCIL BROWS. Pencil brows never work. Whenever I see shaved eyebrows, a part of me dies. What’s worse is when someone pencils on exaggeratedly shapely brows or even worse than that, when they draw exaggerated lines instead of eyebrows. I understand the want to get rid of hair. I really do. But that does not look natural.
WHAT TO DO: Grow those puppies in. This should take two to three weeks. Once they’re ripe enough, get them waxed at a professional salon, or have someone you trust maintain them. Tell them to give you guidelines and not to make them too thin.
5. ZIGZAG BROWS. Bad shaping technique on the tail of the brow, near the top, is a pretty common mistake. This makes a girl’s eyebrow look like a zigzag. Generally, my rule of thumb is Do Not Touch That Area When Maintaining the Brows. It’s bound to go wrong. I used to do it, but looking back at my photos, I sincerely regret it.
WHAT TO DO: Stop, don’t touch. Grow them in.
6. BUSHY BROWS. Some people would consider untamed, bushy eyebrows to be a humongous problem, especially with dark-haired women. I do not. Working with bushy eyebrows gives far more leeway than working with thin eyebrows, and it generally yields more glamorous results. While thinner eyebrows have easier maintenance, you can do whatever you want with the shape of bushy eyebrows. Look at my eyebrows and then look at my sister’s. I maintain the eybrows of both of my sisters. They have the same eyebrows, which are relatively thin, and it’s easy but I can’t shape them the way I do mine, which are formatted differently.
WHAT TO DO: Just get them maintained. Ask for brows that are not too thin. Use this as a guideline for home maintenance and plucking.
8. OVERPENCILNG. Overfilling happens rarely, but it still occurs occasionally. It makes the eyebrows look thicker and more defined, but at the expense of potential smears and unglamorousness. Try to keep the eye pencil as close to the shade of your brow as possible, and don’t go outside of the lines of your brow much unless you really fucked up with plucking.
WHAT TO DO: Stop it. Blend well, or just ditch the pencil.
9. DYED BROWS. When you dye your hair, either do it within two shades of your eyebrows or dye your eyebrows within two shades of your new hair colour. Don’t dye your eyebrows unnatural colours. When dying your hair blonde (lighter), keep your natural shade of brows unless your natural shade is black, as it will clash. I discourage dying your hair black unless you have the eyebrows to support such a drastic change.”
WHAT TO DO: Tips are included in the problem section, but I’ve never dyed my own, so you might want to ask someone else, like a salon worker.
And I recommend that you always make sure you maintain your mustache and beard. I know it’s a pain in the ass. Western culture.
Regardless of my vanity with the visage, I think it’s awesome when girls refrain from shaving their legs, nether-regions, arms, fingers, feet, stomachs, and armpits. I have the utmost respect for women who disregard society’s standards regarding that sort of thing. I’m just obsessive over eyebrows.
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