Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Bethlehem, family, Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania
I haven’t updated in forever, I know.
Here’s what’s been happening.
My grandmother is a bitch. She hates me only because I am my mother’s child, and my parents are divorced and me and my siblings all chose to live with our mother. This means she also hates that I’m vegan and hates most every fiber of my being. It’s not fun because if I lash out at her, I’ll get kicked out of the family tree, I think. I am nonconfrontational and I’m also especially shy in the presence of elders, but over the two or three days I had to see her this past week, I came very close to exploding at her.
Oh, and for Thanksgiving, I went to Bethlehem, Pennsylvania instead of home. I lived in Bethlehem for the most important parts of my child development or whatever. I can’t navigate around to save my life, but I am familiar with it, to a certain extent. And while Bethlehem always reminds me of sunny spring afternoons spent on the playground in our green, beautiful back yard, when I’m there now, I feel most out of place. Bethlehem and actually most of the Lehigh Valley consists of two categories: Old People and a few Disillusioned Young People Who Are Out Of Touch With Reality. In Bethlehem, I am expected to be a proper Catholic girl. I can’t be an agnostic creepazoid who loves most erryone for some different reason. Bethlehem isn’t any fun for me because of this. Also, I can’t make eyes at anyone there because there is nobody to make eyes at. Richmond, there are ten million people to make eyes at anywhere you go. Lotsa young people like me. Bethlehem, there are not many young people, and the few young people there are not people I want to associate with generally. They can’t appreciate my music, my literature, my style of talking or dressing. I have a Lehigh Valley accent (whateeeever that is), but I don’t call people gay or retarded as an insult, for one. So I’m one-of-a-kind there, but I’m also so very alone. So lonely. It’s the pits too because whenever I feel inspired to meet someone new or make eyes at someone, I have to go to Bethlehem.
I was, however, in Lewisburg for less than twenty-four hours. Let me tell you how it was in one word. Overwhelming. Ten people in my house at once. Not very calm. That was an enormously busy day, and I slept heavily that night on the couch. What am I going to do over winter break?! I have no room! I will have no privacy ever again! This thought is frustrating because I so rarely have privacy here at school.
Also, finals are next week, so every time I’ve sat down to write, I’ve been distracted. I’ll post music soon.
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