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Note: Conditioner makes the hair behave like Jenny Lewis’ lovely locks.
Also, while we’re talking about me being a materialistic bastard, I got this shirt from H&M on an impulse. Actually, I’m a mooch without a job (I have my good reasons, so don’t hate on me), so my mom bought it for me, but I wasn’t even sure that I liked it, but it’s this uber-disgustingly stylish off-white blouse thing with a bow tie in the front that’s all reminiscent of the 1700s or whenever they wore ruffles around their necks. Anyway, I gave it a shot today for the first time, and I looove it because it reminds me of this:
Realistically, it’s not even that much like that, but it’s comfy. I’m a freak.
In other news, I cleaned my room today and it is SPOTLESS holyshit.
Also, I felt like a complete Darla Downer today. Normally, I feel like that when I have not eaten enough, and don’t you start suspecting that I’m anorexic because I love food. Love it. I think Carol and Ali know it after seeing the way I eat éclairs. Today, though, I had eaten plenty of food and everything. I’d gotten enough sleep. I was just tired and down. I enjoy cheering people up, but today I didn’t feel like it. And I don’t ask for help often, and I felt it would have been appropriate to ask for some today and talk about my feelings, except I couldn’t figure out what it was. Nothing triggered it. I was just like this all day. It’s probably everything I talked about yesterday, and then the fact that Ali is leaving for California in two days and the fact that I just saw Phelan for the last time before I go to college. And then additionally, it’s sinking in that I’m leaving. Everyone’s asking me when I leave, and I specifically remember that Brent’s response was, “Shite.” I’ll miss my girl friends a fucking lot, but Brent will be differently difficult to be away from because he gets me and all my stupid habits and mostly private thoughts, and he takes me seriously even though I sometimes act like a dumbshit around him (not on purpose, ever). He is not afraid to speak on an intellectual level about delicate things. I’ll also miss Travis for being a crazy smart young Democrat and sometimes a nomad.
The other reason I couldn’t ask for help was because Ali’s going through a rough patch and sometimes that is contagious and I did not want to add to that even a little bit. It’s no fun to have two melancholy people around unless two is everyone. I guess I shouldn’t have let that stop me, but it would have been weird since I’m always a content cat.
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