I am at the beach, and I just keep thinking about the tales that everyone brought from Europe, and how much I dislike America.  How much I dislike being American.  Everyone here at the beach, on Long Beach Island, embodies the typical American tourist.  And we haven’t even left the country.  I keep wondering how much the people who work here hate us.  We’re feeding them lots and lots of money with our stupid yearly rituals.  Mini golf.  Dinner here and there.  Buying this and that.  But we’re so stupid.

I finished Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk last night, and this got me thinking, too.  I guess they really aren’t targeting the smartest people as their customers, because the smartest people see the traps and the fakeness and how even though the Atlantic Ocean is beautiful and it’s all that separates me from France, it’s a tourist trap.  The shore is a tourist trap.  LBI is a tourist trap.  But there’s almost no other way to really enjoy the ocean, not here in America where they have to package and sell everything.

Why, also, do you think I love being pale?  Why do you think I crave pearly white skin?  Anyone can become tan.  Even the most milky white people like Rachael can go to the tanning bed and gradually gain immunity in the form of beautiful bronze skin.  But it takes a certain kind of person to be able to be pale.  And I’m not racist.  If I wasn’t able to have very pale skin, then I would next want to have cinnamon skin or dark chocolate skin.  Those are my next choices, because I like the extremes.  Very dark or very light, those sorts of skin colours take a special kind of person.  But it’s not possible for me to have very dark skin, so I have to aim for the lightest end of the spectrum.

I just thought of something, though.  About culture.  I am sort of glad I grew up American because I have control over what I become.  I have control over my cultural education.  It may be difficult at times, but I have such a selection.  And I know exactly what I dislike about being American.


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i’m glad you like being pale. because anthropologically, it is an extreme beauty, being so pale. it has screamed so many things, but in this age it is starting to mean that you are smart enough not to let yourself go get cancer. btw, studies have shown that the people who are perceived as being most beautiful are those with the most contrast of colors in their face. because you have dark hair and eyes but light skin, that’s you. biologically, even without looking at you, you’re a beauty.
i think it’s part of why i want the lightest indian skin possible. it’s also part of why aishawarya rai won miss universe more than once. she has blue-green eyes and dark hair and light skin and pink lips. that’s an assload of contrast right there. i can’t bring myself to get darker because i have dark hair anyway, and it would mean i’d have to lose a million brain cells so i could go get tanner, but the only alternative for me, like you, is staying as light as possible.

by the way i actually have skin lightening cream lol. it’s a huuuuuge thing in southeast asia.

Comment by divya

It’s funny to hear it from another perspective. I love Long Beach Island because it’s not as commercialized with franchises and junk as other shores. To me it’s a family town I grew up enjoying. Of course, I’m American, so I’m going to see it differently than you are!

PS- I loved “Choke” by Chuck P. Good read if you haven’t read it yet. “Rant” was just so-so

Comment by Deb

If you hate America…LEAVE!!! Simple as that.You read what you want because you are free to do so,why?BECAUSE YOU ARE IN AMERICA!!!!!I volunteered to die for your right to do that and speak how you wish,but when you say you hate AMERICA,all I want to do is choke the life from your worthless little pale body,but I respect the freedom you have to do so,WHY? Because I volunteered to die for your right to do so.SO IF YOU HATE AMERICA…PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE!!!I see everybody clamoring to get in but not too many fighting to get out…HMMMMMM!!!

Comment by Bob

See. The thing is. It’s not that any other place is necessarily better. I mean, when you’re going to make comparisons to other countries, I think America’s one of the dandiest places to live, based on the fact that we have these rights. It’s still not the dandiest, considering my experience with the educational systems over here. Any dumbass can graduate high school and attend college. Did I deserve to graduate high school with the grades I had? No; I didn’t even deserve to have the grades I had because I didn’t have to work for it. Any idiot can get an A. You should really have to work for it, but you should have motivation for doing so, as well.

And I think democracy’s dandy, too. Our government system is wonderful. And as for politicians, well, I can’t hate them because they are raised to be that way because of our demands. That’s right.

As for you volunteering to die for my right to do what I want, I respect you tremendously for it, and I hate people who don’t realize how privileged we are right now that we don’t have a draft because people are volunteering their lives to go to war. I mean, I can’t even begin to imagine the emotional and physical stresses you must have gone through, and perhaps are still going through. My dad is a veteran. One of my great-great uncles fought in the Civil War for the Union so that other people could have freedoms, too. I respect them, and you could say I’m grateful. I’m not going to write about the war today, though.

However, we can’t just be blind to the flaws in the system, and I completely know that you’re fed up with me saying that, “it’s better that we appreciate what we have because we have more than some do, blah blah,” but it’s better to know that there are flaws than to love blindly. And I know you might be willing to bring religion into this, too, “Don’t you love God blindly? Then why can’t you love the government blindly?” Well, I don’t love anything blindly at all. And while the government is just peachy, it’s a man-made system, and therefore it is flawed.

So I suppose what I’m saying is that I hate American society more than anything, since I don’t hate the government, I don’t hate the people, I don’t hate the educational system, I don’t hate having rights. And when I say that I don’t hate the people, I know some people would be shocked, but American people are just the same as any other people. It’s society’s effect on them that has warped them, and the people really can’t be blamed. It’s society that allows us to follow blindly. I mean, I personally lost a lot of faith in American society when I found out about factory farms, and then considered that I didn’t even know about them until I was what, fourteen? Yeah, and some adults I talk to still have no idea what they are because they are hidden, and they have loopholes they can slip through, and it’s just such a sick, sick system. People don’t know where their meat came from, and they don’t give a shit! They are fully aware that they are eating formerly-sentient beings, and they continue to do so, and I think they always will. They follow a country dictated by Christianity without looking at the Bill of Rights, without putting themselves in the shoes of minorities. Americans are generally lemmings. Anything different is frowned upon. Hell, even those who are supposedly more accepting and different shop at the same stores and consume the same products and shun and frown upon things exactly the same as the more typical conformists. You see perfectly groomed girls walking out of American Eagle with big bags in their hands, and they look over and scoff at the Hot Topic girls because they feel threatened and they think that their supposed nonconformity has been taken a little too far and a bit hypocritically, too, because they can be stereotyped and they all look the samee. And then you see the dark-colour-wearing girls walk out of Hot Topic and scoff at the American Eagle girls because they think they’re silly conformists, or because they feel threatened by this femininity or whatever. It’s all so fucking stupid. You get the same shit outside of places like Urban Outfitters, too.

Additionally, people just DO NOT read anymore. They don’t feel the need, what with television and movies and video games, and it makes me so angry when people say they hate to read, because it just means they haven’t found the right books yet. That’s all it is. People don’t know what’s going on in the world, and the news does not always focus on the right things. Everyone takes education for granted because of the way the school systems are set up here. We have so much potential, but we would work a lot harder if we didn’t take it for granted.

Additionally, America has a history of exploiting people in China and India and Asia in general, as well as children and even immigrants, which is simply wrong. I know someone will argue that they would not be able to make money otherwise. They shouldn’t have to work these grueling jobs to make money, period.

And I would leave the country, but currently I am number one, a minor; number two, attending college so that maybe just maybe I can make something of my life in another country language-wise and education-wise; and number three, unemployed so that I can make the most of my education for the first half of the first semester at least.

Comment by indiechouette

You’re a very insightful girl for your age.
I’d like to suggest looking up ‘indigo children’ and sorting out the psychic bullcra*p* from what you want to believe about them. Either way, Im sure you’ll enjoy learning about that.
I agree that ‘Choke’ by Chuck Palahniuk is also a very shocking book…the ending makes it though.
Survivor is my favorite so far by him. And I’ve also just started Catch 22… I love satires.

But you seem smart. And you like Chuck, the postal service, bright eyes, and Catch. I’d suggest reading ‘the Perks of Being a Wallflower’. It’s one of my favorite. I’m sure youll love it.

I tried adding you on my facebook, btw. I dont know if you’re open to meeting people online (havent read much of your blog), but if you are you do seem worth getting to know or talk to.
good luck.

Comment by Jimmy

ignore the first sentence of that. i thought you were younger than you are. woops. youre actually around my age…

Comment by Jimmy

Oh man! I love The Perks of Being a Wallflower! My copy is falling apart. And I also love Catch-22! Except I checked out Catch-22 from the library on November 24th, 2008 and have not yet returned it and have not finished it either because I feel guilty reading an overdue book.

I’ll check out Indigo Children, too.

And if someone has the courage to add me on any social networking site, I accept their request in a jiffy.

Comment by indiechouette

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