31 October, 2007, 1049 pm
Filed under: My Experience with Existence


: )

31 October, 2007, 1024 am
Filed under: School

Math PSSAs part one, all but two correct (I forgot to do them).

Math PSSAs part two, all correct.

AP Calculus Chapter 2 test, one half a point out of sixteen possible points correct.  What the fuck?   I hate derivatives.

Tonight, there was some candidate debate for the local governments, and the AP Gov class got to go for much-needed extra credit.  So I went, stood there as a “volunteer” and just listened.  Let me tell you something.  I don’t care how qualified a candidate is; if he beats around the bush answering questions and acts overconfident, I am NOT voting for him!  Even if I won’t be 18 for another 10 months…I would not vote for Lyons if I could vote in this upcoming election.  I’d vote for Johnson.  Lucky and sort of funny that the Democratic candidates won me over, especially considering I was a clean slate of an observer going in there.  GAHH, I DON’T LIKE MOST CONSERVATIVES.  At least the uneducated or ignorant ones (and that includes the ones who can’t distinguish between appropriate times to use adjectives and adverbs).

30 October, 2007, 1247 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Someone asked me to tell them my master status for some Sociology project.  I asked to think on it for a few minutes, and I decided that the term “loner” best fits me.  When I shared, the surrounding group just looked at me and then lowered their eyes as though embarrassed that I’d point that out about myself.  At first I turned red, and then I wondered why.  Because it’s true!  I’m not foremost a student or a sister or a daughter or whatever.  And why would I make up some bullshit response?  Just to make everyone feel comfortable?   My mother says that I think too much about things like this.  But I don’t think that’s possible.

Also…I saw this video about global warming deniers, and it made me pretty angry, even though it was made to persuade the viewer to side with them.  These guys acknowledge that global warming is going on slowly, but they think that humans aren’t really contributing to it that much and that it’s not that big a deal.  It’ll affect our great-to-the-thirtieth-power grandchildren, but why should we do anything to change right now?  That attitude pisses me off.  It’s just like the argument that one vegan isn’t going to change the world, and that it’s stupid to try.  And of course humans are contributing!  We’ve got these huge fucking factories, we’re taking land we shouldn’t have, destroying animal habitats and stealing lives for our own benefit, enslaving innocent animals like they’re inferior–which they’re not.  And I hate speciesists–the people who think that housepets are somehow superior to other animals, too.  Like, dogfighting is not okay but somehow cockfighting is because most people don’t keep them as pets.

Music, though!  Since I’m tired and it’s almost one in the morning, I’ll put a sleepy video today, since my file sharing site is being an ass.  You don’t even have to watch it.  Just listen to the song.  It’s amazing.

28 October, 2007, 1032 pm
Filed under: Music

I miss the old Bright Eyes. Pre-Cassadaga. As much as I like “Cleanse Song” and “Coat Check Dream Song” and “Lime Tree,” I can’t really say that about the other tracks. “Four Winds” made it to the radio, but it doesn’t really do anything for my moods. It’s kind of like, “Oh, fiddle. Political statement. Yeah, wow. Nice job, Mr. Oberst.” I feel bad for not giving him the room to grow up as an artist and not supporting him even though he’s sort of selling out (that’s to say, I should support him through anything), but hey! Commander Venus fans probably felt the same when he went to Park Ave (even though that’s possibly his least famed project, and I was only about 5 when both happened). And Park Ave fans probably felt the same when he started Bright Eyes. And those Bright Eyes fans probably felt the same after the first album. And maybe some of them even felt sad when he started Desaparecidos. I might get used to it, but this is such a huge leap. It’s like he could take a crap and mold it into a CD shape and some fans would still buy it for twenty bucks at Barnes & Noble, or even forty-some if it came with a special case. I love Commander Venus and Bright Eyes and Desaparecidos, but Cassadaga was a real letdown. Like a crying-while-balled-up-in-fetal-position letdown. Even more of a letdown than Rilo Kiley’s Under the Blacklight, where I could find something positive about most of the songs, and far more of a letdown than the Arcade Fire’s Neon Bible, which was just a grower (AND POSSIBLY THE BEST ALBUM OF 2007!).

Conor Oberst

I listened to Lifted all the way through for the first time in a long time, a sort of two-year anniversary, and it was incredible. I mean, that’s what won me over, and it’s a damn good thing that Erika lent me that one and not Digital Ash or I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning. It just had to be Lifted. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been interested. It’s the fact that the story carries through, and the interesting idea for the booklet and the love and lack thereof, and Maria Taylor and Jenny Lewis and all the orchestral instruments. That was all new to me. It was gritty, but it prepared me for a full introduction to indie.

And that is why I have so many artists in my music library now. Music nerd/indie fascist, as I’ve been called. Jokingly, I hope.

28 October, 2007, 107 pm
Filed under: Music, Nouvelle Musique, School

I had a talk about colleges with my mother at Sheetz yesterday (weird, I know, but that’s just where it came up), and I’m currently looking at Kenyon, LSSU, Bloomsburg, Bucknell (though I wouldn’t live here at home if I got in and went there even if it is only a matter of blocks away), and (as a shoo-in backup school) VCU. I’m also considering applying to University of Wisconsin Eau-Claire, but I’m not so sure about that one. VCU wouldn’t be so bad; I’d know people there already and I’d live in the city, and it would be nice. I’d shop exclusively in Carytown, pretty much, and I’d be able to see my high school friends and visit my dad sometimes. I’m pretty happy with my choices. Just terrified of college. Here are two tracks for you.

Middle Distance Runner | Sea Wolf [buy]
Books Written For Girls (Live Acoustic Version) | Camera Obscura [buy album version]

22 October, 2007, 1044 am
Filed under: Music, My Experience with Existence, Nouvelle Musique

UPDATE 29.11.07: I put up the final two RK covers. : )

I feel like kissing someone. I love kisses, and I haven’t really kissed anyone in a month. I am not sure how anyone could argue that hugs are better than/just as awesome as them. There’s something very pure in the close contact required for a kiss. It’s like sharing a secret. And that secret could be anything from tongue to lip texture to breath to pressure to technique to shock at who is kissing you. Or shock at who you are kissing. If I was more bold, I would kiss someone at random today. But I wait and collect kisses as I find them. For me, kisses are not necessarily the ultimate expression of love. They’re just appreciation or thanks. I appreciate your good looks. I appreciate that you’re a wonderful person. Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for being a good friend. I appreciate how you’re always there for me, and thank you for not being a total bitch. Thus, it is okay to kiss a friend, if you mean to. One kiss doesn’t have to lead to making out, either. Making out is a bit different, but not much. It’s just more passionate appreciation, less accepted with the gender you feel neutrally about. Maybe kisses and making out are friend love. And then love love is expressed through other things, like nostalgia and desire and pain mixed in, and memories. Like remembering someone’s favourite Sufjan Stevens song, or their birthday or their drink preferences. Or their favourite Pokemon.

Of course, that being said, I think that love love and best friend love are close. Divya and I remember many things about one another, and there is pain involved since we are far apart now and there is nostalgia and a desire to see each other again. But we won’t make out when we see each other again. Even though we are Siamese twins by a strand of hair and have impregnated one another’s elbows several times over. This is the same for me with the other two thirds of the Triad, lots of nostalgia, pain, and desire.

THE REAL REASON I AM MAKING THIS POST is to share music that I have slaved over finding.

I have several rare Rilo Kiley findings. First, the earliest ones are from some of the earliest versions of The Initial Friend EP, which was titled Rilo Kiley. They’re a bit quirky, but they are essential for die-hards such as myself and Erika. If you are a real fan, too, you will shit yourself over “Keep It Together.” Even if you’re not quite a die-hard, I recommend “Steve.” It’s funny because it’s so damn serious. Also, I plan on adding more to this post, but my hosting site is a bit slow.

Steve | Rilo Kiley
Keep It Together (Rained the Day) | Rilo Kiley

Now for some covers. They are phenomenal. Again, the hosting site is a bit slow, so I’ll get the other two up when I can.

Simply Irresistible (Robert Palmer cover) | Rilo Kiley
Such Great Heights (POSTAL SERVICE cover) | Rilo Kiley
After Hours (Velvet Underground cover) | Rilo Kiley

20 October, 2007, 234 pm
Filed under: Music, Nouvelle Musique

You should remember the Intimates. I still listen to them. They just have a nostalgic sound. Well, recently, I stumbled upon a different band called sweetfang, which is Tess Lecklitner’s solo career, it seems. She’s got four songs posted, so I decided to take a listen.


The instrumentation of sweetfang is as good as (if not better than) that of the Intimates. You can always hear some string instrument (since I’m not versed in those, I’m not sure which it is) in the background, and even the percussion can be a bit diverse–for example, “Bear River” (which is my favourite track; “Keys” comes in a close second). Tess’ voice is also fairly sugary, without being all too sweet. She’s not flashy in her singing style, but this makes for soft, modest songs. There’s also some je ne sais quoi there in her voice and pronunciation that Malory McDonald has–perhaps that’s just the accent of the area or something, or maybe Malory is where she drew her inspiration from. The lyrics are also fairly reminiscent of those penned by her old band, except that hers are significantly more detailed.

Despite all the pros, though, I just prefer the Intimates. sweetfang’s fine, and you should take a listen, but the Intimates had something magical about them. That’s possibly because they’re not together anymore.

18 October, 2007, 610 pm
Filed under: Music

I am a Youtube junkie lately. For this post, I was gonna bring back a few old songs from the dead, but then I found this video and, well, I feel that this is far more emotional and far more important than any of the other six videos I dug up. It’s a Death Cab for Cutie one, “Different Names for the Same Thing,” and it’s got a middle school orchestra of sorts. It’s a different kind of video. I didn’t catch any aspiring oboists, but I did see a bassoon. And mallets. Vibraphone! The kids’ technique isn’t there, but who cares? They’re young and into it, and it’s a damn good video. Possibly my favourite, after watching it.

And this one’s a journey, but I figured I would include it. The music video’s not much, but the music is. That would be “Easy/Lucky/Fre” by Bright Eyes.

18 October, 2007, 427 pm
Filed under: My Experience with Existence, School

It makes me angry that my sister, Rachael, would exaggerate the details of me hitting her in the face and exclude background information.  In fact, it makes me angry that she’d even tell anyone in band, let alone that she’d be dishonest about it.  All I’ll say is that I backhanded her in the nose from over my shoulder, so it wasn’t a very good hit, and definitely not something to be proud of, since it was from an awkward angle (and violence is never something I commend).  I don’t know why her lip bled, though, because the angle I hit her from didn’t allow for any momentum at all.  I used the piston stroke, though.  I refuse to add any more details or to comment on her behavior, save for the fact that it would hurt if I came out and told all of what she did.

18 October, 2007, 1135 am
Filed under: Music

So “Silver Lining.”  Blake Sennett is so…youthful.  So small.  I don’t want to say cute, though.  He is endearing.  In the video, he looks attractive when he smiles.  I think I saw Johnathan Rice thrown in there in the wedding party.  Other comments…I like the triangle part (haha, he gets into it) and I find the end of the video at the swimming pool kind of pointless.  Kind of stupid.  I prefer the video for “It’s A Hit.”  That one made me cry.

17 October, 2007, 1233 am
Filed under: Barrels of Fun, Music, My Experience with Existence, Nouvelle Musique, School

So relationship status. I’m single again, big surprise. You saw it coming. It was stupid. I’m stupid. I trust people easily. And as for bragging only about making out with me–please! I’ll let anyone kiss me if I like them enough (nobody really has the balls to try, hah); what’s really hard to get to is my inner workings. What’s better to brag about is my mind, since it’s hard to decipher, or conversation, since it’s fairly hard to come by.

Speaking of ah, the mind and all that, today in English class, we discussed the traits of Cordelia as the ideal Elizabethan woman. Here are the five things we wrote down:

1) Shows grief at father’s treatment
2) Regal
3) Honest
4) Supports France without question/Takes action as a wife
5) Quiet, even when upset

The main point is that Cordelia is not aggressive. Except for being regal, haha, I find that I share many of Cordelia’s traits. There’s no use in being modest about my honesty–I don’t find much point in lying. Okay, so then we wrote out the traits of Regan and Goneril.

1) Set dad up to go nuts
2) Governed by passions (sluts and whores)
3) Liars
4) Leaders/Making decisions
5) Violent/Angry/Always yelling and screaming

In essence, they are aggressive. But then we had to dissect the traits of Regan and Goneril further and come up with all their redeeming qualities, based both on the above list and on general knowledge.

-Reward loyalty
-Make decisions
-Get angry (which you sometimes need to back you up)

Then we went into a discussion about these three lists. In Shakespearean times, Cordelia was the ideal woman. But if you look at the redeeming traits of Regan and Goneril, even if they’re evil, those are the traits that are encouraged in society today. Essentially, Cordelia’s role as the more reserved, obedient daughter or wife is kind of looked down upon. And for the whole five to seven minutes we were discussing these lists, I was tense in my seat, and I felt some blood rise to my head, and my heart started to pump faster. Because for those five to seven minutes, like it or not, my outward personality was being critiqued, picked apart broken down, and it just contributes to everything, honestly. Finding out that the shy kids are seen as outcasts not only in their own eyes, but in their peers’ eyes is just…ahh, it makes me angry. Where’s this acceptance? Or is it just supposed to be accept and move on? Accept and turn a blind eye? I mean, I know I don’t do shit to go out of my way and reach out to people unless they’re all alone–just because I know what it’s like! But I am not properly equipped to try and make friends with people who already have their guard up. My sole purpose, I suppose, is to give brand new insight if someone comes to me with a question or a situation. And it’s not always good insight, but I try.

We also talked about astrological signs. I’m a Virgo, and I’m the most stereotypical Virgo EVER to walk the face of the earth. I’m detail-oriented, I like to help out, I keep my own feelings to myself, I’m anxious, and I’m healthy. Healthy enough. Ah, not on my deathbed. There. Healthy. Someone in my class brought up the point of nature versus nurture–if we are encouraged to grow into our astrological signs, then it’s more likely that we’ll develop those traits, right? I mean, maybe. But I’ve always had these tendencies, since before I learned about astrology. And my sisters are different from me, too, and they were raised relatively the same, maybe with a little less discipline for bad behavior. And look, they’re Capricorns, and they’re constantly arguing with one another. Plus, my mother claims that she was like me at my age–very reserved–and she’s a Virgo, too (of course, I attribute it to genetics). I don’t believe her, of course; she was able to do things like the school play, which is an activity I could never dream of doing. But my aunt says that of my mother, too, that she was shy. My mom, by the by, always used to become extremely angry when elementary school teachers wrote that I was shy or quiet on my report card. She said that’s no way to describe a person. And my father’s not all too outgoing himself. I think it’s the way we were raised. I think we could grow into our astrological signs, but there’s no guarantee. It’s just a stereotype. My question to you–do you or do you not fit your astrological sign’s stereotype?

Ahh, off topic…I am in love with the way “The Henney Buggy Band” by Sufjan Stevens makes me feel! It’s like a nice spring afternoon where you can eat PB&J sandwiches at the Smurfs picnic table in the back yard of your childhood home. Detailed, very ornate, but so very simple when it all comes down to it. Which is AWESOME. Disregard the video and just listen to the song. I mean, the video’s unofficial, anyway.

I also appreciate “For the Actor” by Mates of State (yeah, fuck yessss) annnnd “Don’t Cry Out” by Shiny Toy Guns (overdone, probably, I know) and I do not care that no one nominated me for Superlatives today because I would not have been nominated for any at Deep Run anyway! I have my music and my drawing utensils. I think I’m good.

15 October, 2007, 230 am
Filed under: Barrels of Fun, My Experience with Existence

This may sound weird, but I think that I am going to fashion myself a deck of tarot cards.  I find tarot interesting, and I feel that if I make a deck on my own, I’ll have a deeper connection to the cards and readings may come out more accurately.  I guess I’m in a sort of spiritual standstill right now, and I feel like experimenting a little.  After all, it can’t hurt.  And I’ve always been interested in this sort of thing–astrology, horoscopes, the zodiac, tarot.  So I guess I’ll start today and see where I get.

12 October, 2007, 929 am
Filed under: Barrels of Fun, My Experience with Existence

I am impressionable. But this time, at least for a trial period of a few days, instead of trying to resist and turn things around cent quatre-vingts degrees. And after that trial period, I will probably lose my patience again because although I’m not affectionate and although I constantly find people telling me how chill and low-maintenance I am, that does not mean that I like to be left alone all the time. I despise loneliness. I hate it. I’m scared of it. I’m scared of what it does to people, and I’m scared of dying while I’m overcome with it. Maybe that’s because I don’t completely understand it. I have never detached myself from it and taken a look at it. And I think that sometime when it creeps up on me, I will do just that. I’ll let myself be overcome with that fright, that anxiety, that loneliness, and then I’ll pull away from it and walk away. I hope it feels good.

I cannot fill in the blank for an appropriate adjective to describe Mitch Albom’s writing. I generally like to read fast-paced music novels based on fictional characters that I become attached to because I can relate to their teen selves. But Mitch Albom is a different writer.

See, my mother received The Five People You Meet In Heaven shortly after our eldest cat, Peppe, died. I’d known her since I was born; she was two years older than me, and I was thirteen when she died. My mother refused to read the book because it would make her sad, but about a half a year after Pepper passed, I picked it up, still mourning, and read it. And I loved it. And I forgot about it, but parts stayed with me, parts like the main character reuniting with his wife and with his father. I cried a lot reading that book, but it never had anything to do with pity, not self-pity, not anything sad. They were tears of realization. It sounds ridiculous.

And so yesterday, upon browsing the school library’s biography section in hopes of stumbling upon a Sophocles bio to use for my “Oedipus Rex” paper, I ran into “Tuesdays with Morrie.” I instinctively picked it up and started reading it when I’d found two heavy books on Ancient Greece.

Albom has a way of sneaking up on me. I’ll read a few paragraphs, a few pages, a chapter, and I’ll feel good. And then he’ll throw some statement in there that I know. Something that just jumps out at me and connects with the way I feel, and it will make me cry. Or he’ll write something so terribly nostalgic and personal that my eyes will start to burn reading. Yes, it sounds ridiculous. But you have to read Mitch Albom to get it.

9 October, 2007, 936 pm
Filed under: Music, My Experience with Existence, Nouvelle Musique

First up, I’m in love with the song “Paper Planes” by M.I.A. I mean, it sounds silly because of the SFX!!, but that girl has a lot more sense than one would initially figure.

She kind of reminds me of the discussion we had today in AP English about third world countries and general third world-ism. It seems so surreal to me now in my generally comfortable home. I mean, I have water and power to wash myself and when I’m hungry, I grab something out of the fridge because there’s food there. And even as you move around the country, you’ll notice a different “norm.” In the suburbs of Richmond, we were poor and there were lots of arguments in the family about money and not being able to afford things. Now in the suburbs of Lewisburg, we’re pretty much the norm, maybe a little more well-off than some, despite our tiny house. We don’t have any more money than we did before! It’s just the area and the cost of things. Even the way people act is different. I mean, we talked about this in English, too. There’s still racism down south, plenty, and lots of Confederate flags (when I moved there, I was offended by them, and I suppose I still am) but as far as within schools, there’s almost more up North; a lot of them haven’t had exposure to lots of black kids or hispanic kids or whatever. I love me some diversity.

Also, someone else pointed this out–in Pennsylvania, you don’t walk down the street or the halls making eye contact with everyone and saying, “Hey,” to strangers or smiling at them, or waving. You look like a dumbass if you do because people will give you a mental smackdown, and you’ll know because of their EYES. Being friendly to strangers was something I learned as a must to making friends in my last few years down South. Maybe that’s why I initially felt singled out when I moved here. People were staring at me because I did all those things. I didn’t even realize I was doing that. And one of my teachers pointed out that people are really “Amish” here; they’re nice enough if you talk to them, but they’ll never go out of the way to include you or get to know you. I think that’s weird, since back down South, the new kids would be included eventually, even in such a huge school. Anyway.

Rilo Kiley MTV this week. Rilo Kiley est la bande de la semaine. It’s freakin’ insane. I’m not sure whether I’m excited that they’ll generate new fans or if I’m disappointed that the time has come when Jenny’ll “sell out and leave Omaha” and she’ll get “a mansion house and a rabbit fur coat,” y’know? I love Rilo Kiley very much, and to see the band that produced “A Better Son/Daughter” and “More Adventurous” in this state upsets me. They have so much more potential to change lives, and they’re toning their act down for MTV.

Of course, my initial reaction was excitement; I stopped what I was doing, dashed in front of the TV, and absorbed. I think I’ll just encourage friends to watch for them on MTV this week; that’s all I can do. I mean, the more exposure Rilo Kiley gets, the better. More reason for another album. And when someone else goes out to listen to “Under the Blacklight,” that’s another chance at digging up their older, grander pieces and exposing what brought them up to this point, what makes me love them, and why they are famous to begin with.

Rilo Kiley

I can only leave you with the lyrics to “A Better Son/Daughter” and word that I am a coward and that this song is essentially my Bible for the unsteady believer.

Sometimes in the mornin’ I am petrified and can’t move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs
I know I can’t breathe and hope
Someone will save me this time
And your mother’s still callin’ you insane
And I’m swearin’ it’s different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that God never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
Crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dyin’

And sometimes when you’re on
You’re really fuckin’ on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fuckin’ cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you’ll fight and you’ll make it through
You’ll fake it if you have to
And you’ll show up for work with a smile
And you’ll be better
And you’ll be smarter
And more grown up and a better daughter or son
And a real good friend
And you’ll be awake
You’ll be alert
You’ll be positive though it hurts
And you’ll laugh and embrace all your friends
You’ll be a real good listener
You’ll be honest
You’ll be brave
You’ll be handsome and you’ll be beautiful
You’ll be happy

Your ship may be comin’ in
You’re weak but not givin’ in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
And your ship may be comin’ in
You’re weak but not givin’ in
And you’ll fight it, you’ll go out fightin’ all of ’em

8 October, 2007, 813 pm
Filed under: My Experience with Existence

Monday Melee of 08 October, 2007

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something about humanity you absolutely hate.

I hate that people lie, which propels them to do stupid things. I don’t understand it, I guess, because I just don’t lie about things, and I keep secrets that need to be kept. And I think that hiding your feelings for someone is stupid. I also hate playing “games,” which is what my mother encourages me to do when something in a relationship has gone awry. What’s the point?! If I like a guy, I’m going to want to date him, whether I convey that or not. And if I’m dating a guy, you’d better be damn sure that I like him and that I’ve considered all possible pros and cons of dating him. These decisions take time for me, whereas for select members of the other gender, everything can be halfhearted because they can always break up if things go wrong. No big deal about leading a girl to believe you like her when you don’t really, right?!  Don’t get me wrong; I love boys as friends.  Just not so much in relationships.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

My sister. Gahh, okay, on Judgment Day (well, musical judgment day), she’ll be exposed, but I can’t believe she has the balls to add something like, “…Sufjan Stevens…Death Cab for Cutie…Moving Units…Regina Spektor…some Arcade Fire,” to her MySpace and Facebook profiles! She doesn’t listen to my music. In fact, when I lent her a Feist CD because she claimed she liked Feist, I never once heard her play it, and about a week later, I went in to retrieve it and found it on the floor of her room with a cracked case. Sufjan Stevens, she once borrowed Come On! Feel The Illinoise! and just plucked “Chicago” off of it because it was the “Little Miss Sunshine song” and she never listened to it after. Arcade Fire, she added because they are a boy magnet. Boys like the Arcade Fire because they’re an unconventional band. But if they ask her anything about Win Butler’s genius or how much “Haiti” means to her, she’ll tilt her head to the side and say, “Huh?” In fact, the only song she knows and kind-of likes is “Rebellion (Lies).” Which is, of course, a crowd pleaser (but still deep). That just pisses me off since I’m a diehard fan of those bands, and she can pass as a half-assed not-fan to any passerby. Maybe she secretly admires me. I don’t know.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

My eyebrows! They look like hell lately, and I cannot go in to get them waxed because of the last “incident” where they did them too far apart and the fat troll woman was mouth-breathing heavily on me the whole time. I am also fairly unhappy that I have not been able to talk to Derek lately, and that whenever I try to tell him something I’ve meant to tell him for however long, whether it’s deep and meaningful or not at all, he becomes distant and will not respond. It makes me pretty sad, since he was always open-minded with me.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Erika for gettin’ me into Bright Eyes in the first place what with lending me Lifted two years ago. Erika, I cried when I listened to it the first time! The connection was there! I’ll also give Derek credit for ah, having a nice mouth, though we have not actually been talking as much as I would like lately.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it

My sureness, even if it’s preceded by a bunch of indecisiveness.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

A picnic.