5 September, 2007, 929 am
Filed under: My Experience with Existence

Whenever I find that a boy is interested in me, my initial instinctive reaction is, “WHY?!” It’s not so much me beating myself up with my left arm as it is that I’m genuinely curious. What merits do I have that make me preferable over other girls who spend more time on their appearances? Mostly, I’ve noted that guys don’t really go for my “type,” The Intellectual, as a teen boy magazine would call me, if one existed. Maybe I’m The Artist (apparently, I’m wrong, see below). I don’t know. But I normally just go with the flow and try to fit in with people as a whole, and get along and relate instead of becoming attached to individuals (though it happens anyway). It’s alarming when I look up from the regular rhythm of things and find someone watching me, but for some reason, I also find it flattering.

You scored as Cute/Shy,The Cute and Shy type is the kind of girl you want. You just love to see a girl smile and blush. You love it when they just can’t think of anything to say because for you they don’t have to say anything.Please rate and comment and tell me what quiz this is when you do!

What kind of girl do you love? (with pics)
created with

I made a mix CD for Charles. I really enjoy doing that for people in my spare time. Making mixes. I don’t normally do it unless they express interest, but when they do, I go all out. I have to pick out a hundred songs and narrow it down to 20 songs that are a mix of their taste (the comfortable) and my taste (the radical) and design a cover booklet and order the songs and it takes time, but it’s worth spreading the music. I’ve never received a mix CD and I guess I just want to make other people feel the way I want to feel. It’s kind of like with a picnic. I can’t just go out and have one by myself. I want to share the experience with someone else so they can pass it on when it’s their turn. Kind of like tag.


French this year, by the way, is an utter disappointment. No one shares my enthusiasm except Erika, who is inconveniently not here. Even my teacher’s accent and teaching style blow. Today in class, I pretty much felt like walking over to the door and slamming my head in it a few hundred times to put myself out of my misery. Every question he asked someone else, my fingers would tense up and a grimace would spread across my face to try and hold the answers in. And he saw it, and he knew it, but he’s not Mrs. Guyer. Honestly, having a more lax teacher forces my brain to create a little Mrs. Guyer sitting on my shoulder telling me how to pronounce things and, “YOU DID NOT JUST SAY ‘PRENDU!!'” and such. It’s kind of neat, but it makes me miss my past two years’ French classes because they were challenging and I was still able to succeed. This here is not challenging. I’m sorry. Bring on French 5, please.

As for social interactions, I think everything’s getting better. I still prefer my freshman friends, probably because they are not threatening, not catty, not particularly judgmental of me as far as I can tell, and I am able to talk with them about things. Oh, andsocial phobia breakthrough: Today in AP Gov, we had to get in groups and my group had to research Montesquieu and then all the groups had to present. For some reason, I don’t know if it’s congeniality or nervousness or just amusingness, I am always able to make the class laugh when I present something. Maybe everyone just feels for me and they’re all cringing. I don’t care, though. I like that quality about myself, whatever it is. Well, when I was in the front of the room presenting to my twelve or so peers in that class, I felt little to no anxiety. I was rather proud. It’s so rare for me to feel comfortable in front of a group, or even as a part of a group. That essentially made my day. You know what would have made my day more, though? Making out with a nudist beside a van. That’s right.


3 Comments so far
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french- i love it but think i will have problems pronouncing stuff. HELPPPPPP.

i’m glad you made ppl laugh!

haha i have to take that quiz sometime. klahlkshdfsd.

Comment by divya

and one day i will make you a mix cd. i promise.

Comment by divya

YOU MAKE MIX TAPES? That is amazing.

Comment by sassy

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