30 August, 2007, 1028 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

So The Perks of Being a Wallflower is amazing, and I have to write down this one part that meant so much to me.

To tell you the truth, I love Sam.  It’s not a movie kind of love either.  I just look at her sometimes, and I think she is the prettiest and nicest person in the whole world.  She is also very smart and fun.  I wrote her a poem after I saw her in The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but I didn’t show it to her because I was embarrassed.  I would write it out for you, but I think that would be disrespectful to Sam.

The thing is that Sam is now going out with a boy named Craig.

Craig is older than my brother.  I think he may even be twenty-one because he drinks red wine.  Craig polays “Rocky” in the show.  Patrick says that Craig is “cut and hunky.”  I do not know where Patrick finds his expressions.

But I guess that he’s right, Craig is cut and hunky.  He also is a very creative person.  He’s putting himself through the Art Institute here by being a male model for JCPenney catalogs and things like that.  He likes to take photographs, and I’ve seen a few of them, and they are very good.  There is this one photograph of Sam that is just beautiful.  It would be impossible to describe how beautiful it is, but I’ll try.

If you listen to the song “Asleep,” and you think about those pretty weather days that make you remember things, and you think about the prettiest eyes you’ve known, and you cry, and the person holds you back, then I think you will see the photograph.

I want Sam to stop liking Craig.

Now, I guess maybe you think that’s because I am jealous of him.  I’m not.  Honest.  It’s just that Craig doesn’t really listen to her when she talks.  I don’t mean that he’s a bad guy because he’s not.  It’s just that he always looks distracted.

It’s like he would take a photograph of Sam, and the photograph would be beautiful.  And he would think that the reason the photograph was beautiful was because of how he took it.  If I took it, I would know that the only reason it’s beautiful is because of Sam.

I just think it’s bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is.  And I think it’s bad when the most honest way a boy can look at a girl is through a camera.  It’s very hard for me to see Sam feel better about herself just because an older boy sees her that way.

29 August, 2007, 1020 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have told the story of my first day of school many times, and I will probably repeat it many more times.  Essentially, lunch was awkward and people sung “Happy Birthday” to me twice.  Most tried to figure out my family tree; I have two cousins, a sister, and an aunt at the high school alone.  And Eric thinks he’s family.  My initial evaluation was correct:  People at Lewisburg are quite kind, but not necessarily friendly.  It makes me uncomfortable that they invite me along but I constantly have to listen to inside jokes and topics of which I have no knowledge.  I’m sure I’ll learn to fit in, and then I always have my freshman friends, who I consider my best friends.  My freshman friends make people feel comfortable because they’re naive and nimble.  Even I know how to make people feel comfortable.  Ask questions, make people laugh.  Be open.  It builds relationships.  I just feel like I’m at the disadvantage because not only am I afraid of speaking to people, but I am also new.  I have found at least two other people similar to myself already.  One of them is a mite more open than I am but also more mysterious, and one of them is just like I was in math class last year.  I will make friends with him because I don’t think I could bare to let someone undergo the same sort of pressure.

For my birthday, I received money from grandparents and an iPod alarm clock and The Sims 2 Seasons from my father.  Seasons is excellent.  From Derek, I received two books and a CD.  The CD was Kill Them With Kindness, which is tender and soft and amazing.  The books are “Nothing Feels Good” by Andy Greenwald, a favourite author of mine, and “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky.  I haven’t started the former, but the latter leaves me at a loss for words.  It’s just the type of book I love.  I find myself crying at touching aspects because I can relate, but I think that some boys might cry for Charlie, too.  I will be sure to write a full review when I’m done with it, but it’s already a favourite.  Phelan and I will do a book swap, I think, when I’m finished, and I have to read “Johnathon Livingston Seagull” by Richard Bach.  I haven’t been able to get my hands on a well-written review of the book, so when I’m finished, I’ll pen my feelings.  I will probably cry, but book crying has a good, purposeful feeling.

28 August, 2007, 623 am
Filed under: Music, Nouvelle Musique

Upon listening to Under the Blacklight wayyyy too many times over the past week, I feel that I can make a proper evaluation.

1. Silver Lining
I never felt so wicked/As when I willed our love to die
When I initially heard this song, I was more than pleased. It sounds like something off of Rabbit Fur Coat, complete with the Watson Twins (though of course, they’re not on this track). The vibe is perfect. The guitar gets to be a little…I don’t know…funky (but in the best of manners), and the chorus sounds almost pop, but I’ve come to love jamming along. “Silver Lining” is pretty much the new Rilo Kiley’s songwriting at its finest. Think “A Man/Me/Then Jim” or “It’s A Hit” only more radio friendly.

2. Close Call
“She was born on a brightened pier/To a gypsy mother and a bucket of tears”
From the beginning, I think of the 90s alternative scene. The mention of a gypsy makes me think of Vianne Rocher from the novel Chocolat. Generally, “Close Call” is a rich but lonely song; it’s very seasoned, very grand, but the vibe and the lyrics make you feel like you’re standing in your childhood house after you’ve moved all the furniture out and you live somewhere else. This is what I’d call a travelling song, but it’s maybe more for travelling across the European countryside than it is for travelling like, to Wal-Mart.

3. The Moneymaker
“You are the moneymaker/She is yours for the takin’/You know you wanna make her/Show her your moneymaker”
The bass line is sex. The guitar line is even more sex and I love it, but I don’t know about everything put together. It’s the epitome of a rock song, sex, you know, DAYYYNJUHH! but I can’t say the lyrics are good. I can stand “The Moneymaker” for everything except the lyrics, which is why the lyric excerpt here is just Lame. Um, oh yeah, and I hate the bridge.

4. Breakin’ Up
“Here’s to all the pretty words/We will never speak/Here’s to all the pretty girls/You’re gonna meet”
An opener worthy of The Postal Service, seriously. I can’t decide, though, if I feel like a teenybopper listening to this song. I love it, but there’s something about it, perhaps the cliche of breaking up, or those cheesy digital sounds. I like how the chorus kind of turns into funk or something. As a 90s kid who grew up listening to 60s and 70s music only, I definitely appreciate that sound coming from Rilo Kiley (who actually did grow up in the 70s) because you can’t get that kind of satisfaction from indie, really. It feels like Motown.

5. Under the Blacklight
“Somewhere in Laredo/Borders a soft man/Like a black widow/I’ll be crawling/Under the blacklight”
A lyrical brainchild, especially as far as metaphors go, but really, this track’s a pop ballad. I could see this playing on the radio because it’s so typical. You know what I mean…verse, chorus, verse, chorus, verse, optional chorus, more optional verse, bridge, chorus (maybe in a new key), repeat. It’s a pretty song, but it’s so plain and somehow, Jenny Lewis’ voice gets lost and all I can hear is the drum, which, in this song, is not a fun part. No buildup. Come on. i needz sum 4plaeee.

6. Dreamworld
“The wedding bells won’t ring, but she couldn’t care less/You exist when you’re living in a dreamworld”
I honestly didn’t like “Dreamworld” the first time I heard it because Blake Sennett doesn’t sound like himself. He sounds sexy. I think Blake Sennett is sexy no matter what, but his voice doesn’t typically come off that way. He whispers and tugs on your ear in “Dreamworld,” kind of kissing you, and I like it. They should have put this before “Under the Blacklight” because it satisfies the need for foreplay. Actually, they should have put it before “The Moneymaker” because that song is just mindless sex. I also love the whole atmospheric vibe that’s provided by the distant, fading guitar and the ever-present bass line.

7. Dejalo
“Mah mama is an atheist/If I stay out late she don’t get pissed”
Oh, my God, Jenny Lewis, “nuestra” is pronounced “new-ay-strah,” not “new-ehhh-strah.” See, I’m essentially a Spanish dropout/wannabe European and I know that. I know that. I think the funky vibe is sexy, but the chorus is unbearable. The beginning is best–you know, when she says, “I got a mind if you wanna waste it…”

8. 15
“My oh my, you pretty thing/It’s about that time fo’ us to meet/Does your daddy ‘ave a shotgun?”
Oh my God, sooooo groovy. “15” is summer, no question about it. It’s a sunny afternoon that you spend inside on the computer. The lyrics are like a disguised Public Service Announcement, but they’re also awesome. Everything about “15” is creepy, and I love it.

9. Smoke Detector
“I took a man back to my room/I was smokin’ him in bed/Yeah, I was smokin’ in bed/This is what he said”
I put this song in my AIM profile, actually, because it’s fokkin’ hilarious. Jenny Lewis described it as “The Frug: Part II,” and I agree. The vibe for Part II, though, is very sixties, and it almost reminds me of the sing-song playfulness of France Gall’s “Laissez Tomber Les Filles.” Je l’aime.

10. The Angels Hung Around
“I been photographed and painted up/And I been in love only once”
Just like “Silver Lining,” track 10 sounds like it was cut from Rabbit Fur Coat. While I’m not sure that I love this track, it’s got more personal lyrics than the others. It almost sounds like “The Calendar Hung Itself,” except a ton less sexy and without any suggestiveness at all. Actually, I lied.  It’s not like “The Calendar Hung Itself” much at all, except for the fact that it describes the past and how much it hurt.  “The Angels Hung Around” is a real plain track.

11. Give a Little Love
“I keep you close/In my wildest dreams/My rearview mirror/And you’re waving to me/Our last goodbye”
Oh, my GOD. So the first time I heard it, I heard of bad late 80s/early 90s hip-hop. I let Rachael listen to parts of this. I asked, “What does this sound like?” She responded, “It sounds like Mariah Carey or something; who is that?” I told her and asked what Miss Jenny Lewis was thinking, and Rachael replied, “Obviously, she wasn’t.” Seriously, I can’t listen to “Give a Little Love” without feeling cheesy. I guess it’s just one of those songs to sit back and listen to…and laugh along. I know none of Rilo Kiley’s probably seriously pursuing a career in hip-hop, so I’m alright with it.  They wanted to go out with a kick, and they went out with like, a kick in the ass.

Essentially, I liked the entire CD.  Every song had a moment of some kind…even if I was laughing…and I guess because of the ones I loved, I’d say it’s worth buying somewhere like Target or on iTunes, but don’t go somewhere like Barnes & Noble to buy it because they overprice their everything.  Yeah.

27 August, 2007, 1148 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I have a feeling that most of my friends this year will be the freshman friends I’ve already made.  Unlike my cousin’s friends, they’re trustworthy and honest, and more generally innocent, though that doesn’t mean you should underestimate their capacity for joking around.  They don’t distance themselves from girls as much because they’re so approachable, and I like that.  They’re good friends, not only to us, but to each other first and foremost, which I also like.  Maybe someday, I’ll write a post about them, but not right now.  That would be mortifying and cheesy.

I get that I’m older than them, too, and I’m constantly afraid they’ll exclude me for that, but mostly, they don’t seem to care.  It does come up sometimes, though, and my own naivety shocks me.  I nearly always act less than my age, but I like it when people can meet me halfway.  I’m fairly mature but I’m vulnerable and I’m never serious and I can’t commit to anything.  When someone realizes that, I’ll be grateful.

25 August, 2007, 101 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Some interesting shit went down tonight. I think I need some sleep to mull it over.

24 August, 2007, 353 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m almost seventeen. How does that feel?

I was going to say awful, but that wouldn’t cover it. Recently I’ve found that Jenny Lewis and Blake Sennett don’t care about me. I live two states away from my boyfriend. I gave myself an awful haircut. My foot is ugly and blistery thanks to band camp. I finally realized that it doesn’t count for anything that I was once a part of a great band or a great pit because I’m not part of it anymore. But that’s only the down side.

I’m the new alterna-girl next door, ready with a supply of fourteen-year-old homies from across the street! My bad haircut is edgy and makes me look older. I can almost rent movies that are rated R. I’m in all AP classes and everyone recognizes me as looking like “that girl” from The Breakfast Club (though I did recently get an Audrey Tautou!). And while “that girl” is crazy, Britt Daniel has (according to Blender, the best magazine ever) always had a thing for Ally Sheedy. My Francophileness is rubbing off and making me seem very French. Here’s the truth about my heritage: I’m maybe six percent French. Maybe. I’m generally a little Irish girl roaming the streets of America.

20 August, 2007, 1213 pm
Filed under: Music

If you have an hour, just go on over to Rilo Kiley’s MySpace and check out Under the Blacklight.  They’ve put up the entire album.  What I’ve gathered is some seventies influences (and definitely disco), a few purely pop songs that will take me a long long time to get used to, and a couple that I like.  I like “Silver Lining,” “Moneymaker,” and now (though not initially) I like “Dreamworld.”  I haven’t finished listening to the whole album yet, though.  Rilo Kiley is going to break through with this album.  They’ve “made it” if this succeeds.  But see, even with their pop songs, they still keep some of their quirks like the flashbacks, the lyrics (which are generally good if somewhat repetitive), and guitar licks.

Let’s say some average kid hears “Moneymaker” or “Under the Blacklight” or “Breaking Up” on the radio and loves it all.  He goes and buys the album and is FREAKED that this band that produces such radio hits produces folky pieces and disco shit (I mean that kindly) and things that sound like oldies.  Like, what the fuck?!  And then he goes and buys older albums and finds nothing like the radio hits he expected.  He finds indie.  And if he decides to buy Jenny Lewis’ solo efforts, he’ll find pure folk.  It’s confusing!  But Rilo Kiley has done a good job at staying different despite their major label debut.  They’ve changed, yes, and sold out a little as far as pop goes (I don’t think Death Cab ever sold out or changed all too much as far as song structure goes), but I’m still proud to say I listen to them and love them.