23 February, 2007, 542 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Aujourd’hui, j’ai reçu un papier parce que l’année passé, j’ai réussi (j’ai PWN’D) à mon examen d’écriture, mon SOL d’écriture. Je pense que, en français, “sol” est “ground” en anglais, mais je dis “SOL” comme “S-O-L.” En anglais, Standard of Learning. Mais l’écriture est mon sol.

De le papier que j’ai reçu, je pense:

Je mens. Sort of. It’s actually an honour to have gotten a perfect writing SOL score, but the paper was a copied piece of dinosaur shit.

There was an assembly where we had to go up and shake hands with the superintendent and the principal. Sitting in my seat waiting to go up there, I nearly had a panic attack. I hate authority figures and I hate being recognized/honoured. Or rather, I’m scared of both. Afterward, though, there was a reception full of all teh goodies I gave up for Lent. I had two oatmeal raisin cookies. They were breakfast foods, pretty much. I really wanted a sugar cookie. Couldn’t have one.

While I was standing in a group silently eating my cookie, this random sophomore turned around and told my circle that we were all a circle of short people, which was an accurate observation, and I was okay with that. I am short. Derek tells me I’m short. I’m okay with that because it is the truth. It’s a neutral statement.

And if this kid hadn’t said anything more, I probably would have had a good day. I would not have been pissy or avoidant or holed up in the past all day. Everything (except for Derek being sick) would have been dandy. But no, this little bitch had to go and blather on another three seconds before turning his little happy bitch face around.

“I know that was random. Randomness is awesome. You can’t hate randomness.”

That is what pissed me off. I wanted to punch that little bitch in the face. Why would such statements annoy me? Well, I used to BE that little bitch, spouting off bullshit about “randomness,” using the word “awesome” a disgusting amount of times in every sentence, and adding “ness” to every other word ’cause I thought it sounded “COOL”?!?!? Yes, I know those ???s were uncalled for, but what I thought was cool back then in my transition from grade eight to sophomore was extremely not cool. Randomness? Not cool. Even the word resembles something horrible to me. I hate “ness” with most of my heart now.

It’s ironic that we say that we hate things with all of our hearts sometimes.

It’s awful being reminded of the past daily, though. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t smart so I could take up other people’s space, be loud and not care, and just think ahead. Reluctantly, I showed Derek my school photos from middle school, which was before I lost my weight, and while I was at my peak weight and my peak depression. Those photos have made me a superficial little bitch; I focus on my own looks a lot, as hopeless as that may sound, and I focus on certain aspects of other people. I hate people who readily accept compliments on natural looks. I also hate kiss-asses.


1 Comment so far
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there’s something wrong with that kid, because
1- he’s friends with brigitte (association with weird)
2- his dad is weird and stood up at that stupid assembly and screamed his name and cheered for him and stuff (relation to weird people)

i like your description of him though, very accurate.

i’m dying. akldhfaklsdjflas.

Comment by divya

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