17 February, 2007, 821 pm
Filed under: Barrels of Fun

It’s strange switching gears from boyfriend to girlpal plus the men. And it’s even stranger incorporating the two. Last night, I enjoyed hanging out with another couple for the first time. As strange as this sounds, Erika and Gil were an older pair who had been together forever. They had a plethora of stories and expertise and advice stored in their wise old minds. I noted certain little things they did, and I didn’t want to scare Derek or make him think I was just doing something because they were there being affectionate in front of us, and that I would never ever do it again. And I wouldn’t want anything to change just because of that experience. So I tried not to do anything different. But it made me realize how cold I can be sometimes, and it’s mostly because I don’t want any possible onlookers to be annoyed. I also realized that I was laughing obnoxiously at everything, probably in my excitement at being around people I used to be around so much before. It was kind of like climbing out of the sea and jumping into a hot tub. It’s not so unpleasant; in fact, it’s nice. But it is quite a shock.

Part of the shock was distance. Don’t get me wrong. I still do miss Erika and Paige and our crazy-ass weekends together. I miss the vagina couch and the airplane and everything. But everything is quite different now. They’re growing up. I’ve changed a lot since sophomore year, too, but I don’t think I’ve grown up. I’ve just accepted myself as is, and maybe I became my own age and returned to my own personality. I can’t relate as much anymore. And I’ve found that when you contrast Derek’s friends with Gil’s friends, you find two separate worlds. On one side is something like those cool guy friends you went to high school with, and on the other side is those rock stars you went to high school with. That’s how it is for me, at least. Neither is better than the other, but I get along with the former better, just because of my personality. My personal net of friends is ever-shrinking save for the new acquisitions of palship with Spencer and Walker. I’m so out of the loop.

Most of the difference is that I am silent and subtle in my expressions of emotions, and I enjoy quiet nights in where we don’t do anything at all, but I do need my risk-filled nights sometimes. For Erika and Gil, the possibilities of sheer expression are endless, and they are one person (not Siamese twins, but their souls are welded together). I remember our nights on the town well, and I know that doing the unfamiliar is their fun (gheyball, balloon stop, human groceries), and just the opposite of myself, they occasionally need quiet nights in.


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what’s a human grocery?

Comment by divya

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