INDIEchouette


FOREIGN LANDS.
12 October, 2006, 841 pm
Filed under: School

I’m reading The Crucible for English class, and unlike past years in English, I have decided to actually read the book. See, it just takes too much time, and I often don’t feel like wasting life on a book that will not change my life and that will surely put me to sleep. Like Julius Caesar. Actually, like The Crucible, that’s a play. It wasn’t bad, but it’s not Romeo and Juliet or The Odyssey, both of which we read freshman year. Both of which, by the way, I thoroughly enjoyed. Juliet is obnoxiously desperate and Romeo is a manslut. I hated Juliet possibly more than I hated Romeo, because at least R-Dawg was on the rebound. The only person I appreciated in that tale was Romeo’s ex/Juliet’s cousin, Rosaline. She had sense to dump that boy for wanting sex, especially if he was going to rebound and marry her own cousin within the next few days, and then kill himself and coincidentally her cousin in the process. As for The Odyssey, well, sex, drugs, and rock & roll. Basically. Plus, I generally like myths, and I got to use highlighters and write what was going on in the margins. I love markers. <3<#<#,#,#333<<#<#<#<3<#<#3.

Yes.

I’ve decided that the only thing I hate about fall more than the approach of winter is the cold. I hate the cold. That’s an oxymoron, I know, but it’s true. The cold only equals cold, colds, loss and overproduction of body heat (and therefore loss of energy), uncomfortableness, shivering, red noses, static hair, reminder that the sun will die eventually (and what will become of Earth? Negative degrees…in Kelvin, which is impossible, since zero degrees Kelvin means no life can exist, which is my point), reminder that when we die as humans we’ll be buried in coffins below the cold ground, and it is reminiscent of snuggling together for warmth which will inevitably lead to HIV/AIDS. I’m just kidding about the AIDS part, of course. It didn’t even make sense. But cold is death. Of course, heat can mean death too, like if you’re tossed into a lava pit by Marilyn Mansen as a form of sacrifice to bad ole Luci, or if you throw yourself into the oven for an hour…but you can’t have life and be frozen. You need heat aka energy to live.

And what doesn’t help is that this school is so godforsaken cold that even an Eskimo (or to be politically correct, an Inuit) couldn’t survive in here. I typically wear three layers, but man, you need like seven to make it through the day decently. Especially in the English classrooms, and in the band room, which is basically Chatterland, because your teeth involuntarily chatter, like in Fairyland, you involuntarily encounter stupid little fairies like Tinkerbell, or in Newfoundland, you involuntarily…find…new…stuff…??? England, you involuntarily eng? Um, no, more like Disneyland where you involuntarily stumble upon Disney trinkets, rides, movies, characters, and stars. Yes. Actually, for Disney, since you’re knowledgably paying for it, I suppose it’s not so involuntary…oh…

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