6 October, 2006, 115 am
Filed under: Music

I don’t, but a conductor probably would. Push-ups pour tout le monde. (LOLZ J’ai couché avec tout le monde.)

love my art

The first thing I have to say after my panic today is still that I’m pretty silly. And I’m blowing things out of proportion. Sometimes, I wish I was one of those people who could blow things off, who’s not analytical. But I can never blow things off, and I am analytical. I sometimes wish I just had a therapist, even if it’s for the little things. Tonight, I’ll either sleep uneasily or like a baby. Aah.

Anyways, I think I’m good now. I saw this commercial on Nickelodeon and it totally cheered me up–turned that frown upside down. I was still pale though. OKAY so, when I was little, I used to be a Barbie fanatic, along with Rachael. Surprising? Yes. First, it was Little Mermaid/Aladdin (my first Barbie was Ariel). We had Ariel, Jasmine, Aladdin, and Eric. They were all mine, I think, but of course, Rachael and I were biffs, so I let her play with them, too. I also had Belle at one point, but her head fell off around the time Aladdin’s did.

aah cute!

Shortly thereafter, we got into the Power Ranger dolls, which were probably 10 inches as opposed to 11 and a half, but they were still cool; you could pop their heads on and off, and they came with costumes/masks, guns, and a change of clothes! I had Kimberly and Rachael had Trini. So cool. I think Billy was in love with Kimberly, though, since Billy aka blue was Rachael’s favourite and Kimberly aka pink was mine.


One we got into music, aka Europop aka Spice Girls, we converted to them; there was a time in between when we had gymnastic Barbies, but we never called them, you know, Barbie, Stacy, Theresa, Ken, Skipper, Courtney, Nikki, The Asian One, Black Barbie, Midge, et cetera. YES MIDGE. I loved Midge. Midge and Theresa because they were brunettes like me. I’m pretty much a die-hard brunette. OH, well, with the Spice girls, Geri aka Ginger was a fucking ADHD moron (she was my favourite). Posh was too Posh, and at one point, her head fell off, so we had to screw it on really tight so she looked constipated. Emma was like a child, go figure: Baby Spice. Sporty was fucking obnoxious, and Scary had a lot of babies. Scary probably had the most going for her, actually. Rachael and I even used to make them have trips to the den (now my room) aka the movies, to watch Spice World. GOOD TIMES.


After The Spice Girls, we were still into Europop, and thus, S-Club 7 dolls came into our lives. They were pretty cool, because they all resembled their real people pretty well. By the time it came to S-Club, though, there were 1802840198209 babies and a car, and then we pretended the babies (aka Kelly-sized) could drive in this dollhouse van…it was intense. So they’d take road trips and the babies would get lost. Real smart. But at least S-Club had a limo, even if only Paul and Rachel could drive.

Of course, I’m not as stoked about Barbies anymore. Alexa has a bunch, and you know that nowadays, Barbie has perfect hair and the perfect hourglass figure with perfect clothes? Yeah, MYSCENE MYASS. They have huge eyes and pretty big lips. Nickelodeon apparently has a lot of Barbie commercials that I don’t watch because I don’t care about the latest ugly-ass doll that’s going to donkey kick me in the face and lower my self-esteem, and oh yeah…I don’t play with dolls anymore!

There was one commercial that depicted Barbies that can make 5 different facial expressions (I thought, “It’s about time”), you know…impressive. Gossip faces. Yeah.

But the commercial right after that, well, I was half-paying attention to it, and I noticed Barbie was feeding her pet dog a pellet (quite the advancement in technology)…and then the camera zoomed in on his ass…and he pooped! If that is not a seriously exciting Barbie innovation, I don’t know what is. Like, you don’t even know. The kids who buy this are paying for a pooping plastic dog. Think about that. Twenty bucks for a pooping dog doll? Twenty bucks or the dog?


Personally, I’d choose to buy the dog, maybe if it was only for show. I’d probably carry it around in my “Barney bag” aka the endless pit of a green bag I carry everywhere. It’s corduroy. It’s intense. Rachael hates it. She asks not to be seen in public with it.

Oh. Lately, Bob Marley has been my savior of sorts. When I was still a wee lass, my dad listened to 70s rock and stuff, while my mom listened to the Temptations and Jimi Hendrix and Marvin Gaye and Bob Marley and oldies. You know, “Ain’t no river wide enough to keep me from gettin’ to you.” Bob Dylan, too, but he was 90s, sorta. I think both of them listened to the Doors, but probably more my dad; L.A. punk-oriented stuff that became radio-friendly was more his thing. But there was no pop music for us; I might as well have grown up in the 70s. It was only when the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys came around–uberpop–that we and my mom began listening to present-day stuff. Bob Marley, though, has always survived. Why? Well, he was fucking epic, but I’m not quite sure–he’s not my family’s style, not really. Granted, my mom did go through her reggae phase, and one of her favourite bands is Sublime (she’s never worded it like that, but come on…she bought the Millennium Mix or whatever CD), but Bob and Marvin always cling on. And that’s probably the only musical taste she’s passed on to me–love of oldies. And Bob.


“I prefer not to talk about it in case she’s listening.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was a real person.”
“She’s not. I made her up.”
“Oh. So she’s not real.”
“Just as real as you or I.”

Last thing, I know I’ve been talking about way mainstream music lately, BUT over the summer, I sort of liked this (although I don’t get the purpose of FOB’s clever payphone cameo), maybe a lot, and I’ll be reporting on Cobra Starship and on The Sounds soon, since they were some of my favourite parts. And for the record, this is probably my favourite The Academy Is… project. It’s very sophisticated and danceworthy and funkadellic.

I like my vocabulary.


1 Comment so far
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i like your vocabulary too :) and the doll stuff was interesting to read. does that stuff with the pic of the world mean you want to take over it, or does it mean it’s going to do pushups? wait you had a panic? what?

Comment by divya

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