So the latest news on anything is that I voted for the mtvU Woodies. Just a few minutes ago, actually. Now, normally, I wouldn’t; I’d just sit there and defy the system; they can’t pry a vote from my cold, dead fingers! But…Motion City Sountrack was apparently nominated, so I was obliged to vote. Actually, I just found out that MCS was nominated for a streaming thing for “Hold Me Down.” Which, while that song’s alright, I don’t love it. It’s one of my least favourites by them. By the way, I have both of their albums and I don’t listen to them as frequently as I used to, but I know all the lyrics to every one of their songs (except “Shiver” and “Cambridge,” which I never liked too much). They’re a pretty good band. As in, they’re up there maybe with Azure Ray, but not in the same way.
You know what? I have an idea. I’ll revote, using my votes from the first time, and I’ll walk you through the mtvU Woody voting process! YEAH! This is exciting.
The first category that pops up obnoxiously is “Woodie of the Year.” Basically, songs you lived to in 2006. The contestants? “The Adventure” by Angels and Airwaves, “The Queen & I” by Gym Class Heroes, “Say Hey There” by Atmosphere, “I Write ashaldklsdjka whatever” by P!ATD (good use of abbreviation skills), and “Slow Down” by The Academy Is… Well, it’s too bad I didn’t live my life to any of these songs in 2006! Um, dommage. Not really; I don’t really like listening to shit in headphones. Let’s just choose The Academy Is… because they have good songs, and I’m prone to semi-liking them. Plus, I like their hair. I didn’t even watch the video.
The next category is the “Road Woodie,” which is basically who rocked loudest on tour. Cool. “Here (In Your Arms” by Hellogoodbye. Ahah, no. “Honestly” by Cartel, which gets an automatic maybe, since I know my cousin likes them, so they can’t be too bad (then again…Yellowcard). “MakeDamnSure” by Taking Back Sunday (aka TBS). It’s a guilty pleasure song, but not great. I’m actually supposed to say that. “Over My”–no. So that leaves me with “The Days Go By Oh So Slow” by Nightmare of You. I’ve heard of the band, sure, but never really gotten around to listening. LimeWire, eh, I can’t download any more; my computer’s full. So I watch the video. Their sound is nice, and the guy has a different voice. And he looks hot et un peu francais. They have potential, so I vote for them (though TBS would have been my second choice, if only for supporting emo/emo-inspired music, which I’ve abandoned).
“Breaking Woodie,” aka best n00b, great category. Arctic Monkeys, Lupe Fiasco, Plain White T’s, Chamillionaire, Imogen Heap. Sorry, boys, but girls always win, especially when they’re Imogen Heap. I listen to Imogen to relax and go to sleep. I fell in love with her…on The O.C. when Marissa shot Trey. Wait–what?! Um. Yeah, so uh, the runner-up was The Arctic Monkeys!?!
“Left Field Woodie.” Unclassified, basically. Random. Competitors? Gogol Bordelli, Imogen Heap, Gnarls Barkley, Lady Sovereign, and Wolfmother. So it turns into Imogen versus Wolfmother. As addicting as Wolfmother’s song “Woman” is, it’s too commercialized. And I love Imogen. Imogen wins two of my votes. She’s gorgeous, too, in an abnormal way, which is another reason why I’m drawn to her as an artist.
The “Live Action Woodie” is a video with real people in it. Wow. 30 Seconds to Mars, Feist, Jenny Lewis with the Watson Twins?! WHAT?! Feist and Jenny Lewis are competitors. Ouch. Now, this wouldn’t be so weird if you didn’t know who they were, OR if Feist’s song wasn’t “Mushaboom.” Conor Oberst did an amazing cover of “Mushaboom.” The Postal Service did a “Mushaboom” remix. At some concerts together, Conor and Feist sang it together…with who other than Jenny Lewis. Um, ouch. I love both Fiest and Jenny, so I decide that the only way to fairly decide who my vote goes to is to watch both videos (I’m so diplomatic, but I already know who will win, unless Feist has unicorns in hers–REAL LIVE ones, or The Unicorns). Let’s just say that Feist has some elements that VH1 considers worst video ideas (flying, a town doing a coordinated dance in the middle of the road, flying bread?, mirror scene, stealing a guitar), more than one, even if it was cute, what with her jumping out a window (wtf?!). Jenny Lewis wins because of the sarcasm in her video, expecially the scenes where they’re sitting on a couch, or when they wink. I have to say, though, that if Feist wins, some or much of the credit will go to Jenny and Conor for covering her song and making it so big.
The “Animated Woodie” is self-explanatory. The runners for this are Gorillaz, Gnarls Barkley, Mark Ronson, Against Me, and Psapp. I’m not really interested in this category, but I watch all the videos, or as much as I can take of them, and I decide that Psapp has the best concept and song. Mark Ronson, though, was an inch behind, I swear. Graffiti never looked so cool. The little girl in the video, though, who drew the skateboarder, she reminded me too much of my neighbour who I despise, so…sorry, guys, choose cuter kids!
“Good Woodie” has to do with social issues. I chose Pearl Jam because they’re environment-oriented, and a good band. I don’t listen to them, except I listen frequently to their cover of The Doors’ “Light My Fire.” A decent cover, by the way. I’m such a dork.
I don’t want to choose AFI for “Alumni Woodie,” which is about people who’ve been around for a while and just recently got big, or bigger. As much as I secretly like “Miss Murder,” I feel propelled to vote for Fiona Apple because she deserves credit; she was the one who chose to hide her second album from the world for years. The Red Hot Chili Peppers don’t need it; they’ll be around next year, and old, naked, and long-haired. And the other two, I don’t care about enough to give them a chance. But I’ll get their numbers and probably sex them up after the show.
For “International Woodie,” I already know I’m gonna either choose The Arctic Monkeys, SIA, or The Subways, so I just choose SIA because she’s quiet, and I like Polaroids, if you know what I mean. Sorry, I don’t even know what I mean.
So you should get the idea. Apparently, the Woodies are a huge deal this year. Huger than your mom (BURN!). That’s pretty huge.
Speaking of moms, Cora! (Tamagotchi, duh) is 8 years old today, and the Matchmaker came for her yesterday, but I didn’t like the dude she picked. So my sister’s is gonna be Cora!’s baby’s father. Also, Mr. R wants one from the pit as a gift. So…we’ll connect with his. Which will be half cool, and half unforgettably creepy…
Check out this cool cat, by the way. Made my day…
Totally Halloween. Ready, go!
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