16 September, 2006, 701 pm
Filed under: Music

In more than one way, I really wish Conor Oberst was real.  You might argue, “But he’s so real!” or “He’s a GENIUS; of course he’s real!” or “Isn’t he dead?” [that’s Elliott Smith, dumbass; nice].  These arguments, though, are not real.  He may be a real man looking for love and fairness and happiness, and he might write lyrics that we can all relate to, but does he explain them?  Who’s Laura Laurent?  We can see Independence Day videos of him on YouTube, where he looks so happy, it makes me want to cry, and then there’s the inconsistent Saddle Creek video of the week where he acts and talks…do we really have answers, though?  Do we know anything about Conor Oberst except that his birthday was February 15th, 1980 or that his real brother is named Matt from Sorry About Dresden, and he lives in Omaha?  No.  He’s so guarded, and too many people regard him as a genius for the wrong reasons, and this just makes him look stupid.  Do I consider him a genius?  Yes.  Do I have reasons?  Yes, but I’m not going to go out and tell everyone that as the sole reason why I’m defending him and his music.  I wish people wouldn’t do that.  And I wish poseurs just stopped.  And I wish everybody didn’t pretend to know him, because while we do know him, we really don’t.  He has said that doesn’t love that, and I know that my friends and I cringe when other people try to do that.

Conor Oberst and some gheywad

I wish, though, that I could know him, maybe, and get caught up in the magical, seemingly time-warped, different but familiar world that is Saddle Creek.

I also wish I could know Jenny Lewis, but I’d know more of how to act and what to say around Oberst, considering he’s not an actor and his songs are pretty consistent, even in their originality.  Jenny is an actress and her voice is one, too.  Sad that I’ve already thought about this, since I want to see both of them before I die, or before they die.  At a show.  I’d probably have an emotional breakdown if that happened, though, since my life revolves so consistently around the works of these people.  I think about them on a daily basis, and I pin people to different songs by them.  Five minutes can’t go by without considering one of their songs, or else something is wrong.

Moving on, though, since I talk too much about Conor Oberst and Jenny Lewis.  I owe it to them, life, basically, and my ability to push through and move on, but I really need to move on to my original idea for this blog.

Elliott Smith.  I mentioned him before, and I’m sure I’ve talked about some of his songs, but lately, I’ve been really interested in him and his history, and what made him commit suicide and what he looked like.  When I listen to his songs thinking my thoughts, he makes me silently happy.  It’s a happy where you don’t even have to smile; you just have butterflies in your chest and everything looks sunny.  I think of meadows, or picnics.

Elliott Smith 

When I’m listening to his songs and thinking of him, and of his history, and most of all, relating all this to the years leading up to his suicide, it makes me eek a tear or two.  He was really into music as a kid, from an early age.  He got into fights a lot, though, with other kids.  I’d rather not refer to him as an outcast.  That’s demeaning.  Just listen to “Pretty (Ugly Before)” or “Say Yes.”  They’re intense without intensity.  They’re almost happy, which is ironic.  The most ironic thing about Elliott Smith, though, is his birthplace.  Omaha.

Listen to “An Attempt to Tip the Scales” by Bright Eyes, all the way through.  I hate it when fans do renditions of it, and especially of Elliott Smith songs.  It’s disrespectful.  And what about the curse of 27?  No, Elliott Smith wasn’t 27 when he stabbed himself in the chest in his living room (and no, he wasn’t single, either).  He was 34, but sort of close as far as I’m concerned.  Jim Morrison was 27.  Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain.  Jeremy Ward and Dave Alexander.  Nick Drake died at 26.  All these people were at the height of the hype.  And with Conor being 26 (nine years, six months older than me), and 27 creeping up on him, plus a new album due out this fall (yes, I’m excited too) we’re going to have to hold our breath for the next three or so years.

Back to Elliott, though, everyone thinks they could have saved him.  Girls wanted to be inspiration in his life; they’re all so different.  Guys could have been that unusual best friend.  But keep in mind that he was not single and was at the height of his career.  He was trapped, per se, by fame.  I wish that people would stop thinking wishfully and just live the sad, somewhat pathetic, but inspired life of a fan.  Maybe this entry doesn’t make much sense right now; it’s sort of a jumble of thoughts, but I hope it helps.


15 Comments so far
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so i just figured out your name on this means “indie owl”. schweet. owls are cool.

Comment by divya

That puppet picture is awesome. I mean its a puppet….it’s awesome

Comment by laurrasb

I’ve been thinking about my theory a lot lately, and I think maybe Conor isn’t going to kill himself. Maybe he is different from the others. There’s a lot of similarities, such as self-destructiveness. Jim, Janis, Jimi, and Kurt (all on a first name basis) were drinkers and smokers smong other things from what I know, and I believe Conor is a heavy drinker and perhaps pill-popper, but I’m not positive on that one.

I deep-down think that Conor could have let out his sorrows in the music. I mean, Kurt complained about all the media attention, and Conor doesn’t really recieve it compared to Kurt’s in the grunge era. Perhaps I’m just being hopeful. Or realistic :)

Comment by Edawg

I think you’re absolutely right. We think of Conor as this actual guy, when in actuality, he’s sort of this…recluse. I mean, again, who really is this Laura Laurent he mentions at least once in all of his Albums? Well I googled her. I found . It could be a mere coincidence that her name is Laura Laurent. But anyway, this man, this Conor Oberst, I believe is a effing genius. Bottom line.

Comment by MisterIndie

I think you’re absolutely right. We think of Conor as this actual guy, when in actuality, he’s sort of this…recluse. I mean, again, who really is this Laura Laurent he mentions at least once in all of his Albums? Well I googled her. I found this. It could be a mere coincidence that her name is Laura Laurent. But anyway, this man, this Conor Oberst, I believe is an effing genius. Bottom line.

Comment by MisterIndie

I completely understand what you’re saying. i love his music, and feel as if he talks to people through it, but i nor you know him. I bet very few actually know him. it’s scary to be that much of a celeberty, in face i don’t think I could handle it. who’s laura laurent? Arienette? i wish i knew many things he talked about, they’re just sweet words filtering through my ears.
I know I could never know him, as much as i want to. but hopefully i’ll be able to go to 5 of his concerts. One of my goals in life is to go to as many as i can.

Comment by Jaimie

Yes I agree completely. I used to have this weird obssession with him, and then I realized that I don’t really know anything about him, especially after I listened to the interview where he is asked about his reaction to women who think they know him. It isn’t right to obssess over another human being who is just like you are.

Comment by Tatyana

I completely agree with you. I mean I have recently become obsessed with him, but in reality I don’t know him at all. I wish I did so badly that it hurts, but he will always be just a voice and a beautiful face. It depresses me to think about it that way but it’s the truth, even though I ignore it all the time and just go on living my life as a creepy (for lack of a better term) wannabe friend of his. But I think that if we really look closely we will find people in our lives who we can love, like how we love Conor. We just have to really pay attention to our reality, and not the unreal world that is Saddle Creek.

Comment by Meagan

indie owl you’re a huge hypocrite. can’t people just like his music? you keep saying that no one knows him but then you feel like you can predict his suicide.

Comment by realperson101

happy to see that there is so much original thought on this page! why don’t you guys repeat things more and maybe say “I COMPLETELY AGREE” a few more times? i can see a real progression of thought here. you’ll want to be spending your life on more interesting things than being self-titled creepy stalkers.
and thanks indie owl, this really did “help”!

Comment by realperson102

I did not attempt to predict his suicide. I just wondered about the basis for the Curse of 27, but I suppose it’s not applicable or even real.

And granted, I don’t even remember what I meant by “I hope it helps.” This entry made little sense and you can completely void it because I was barely sixteen when I wrote it, which translates in normal people to about…oh, four, probably. And I think the first half a decade shouldn’t count.

Comment by indiechouette

From what I have concluded, Laura was a girl Conor dated, who had horrible depression. She is also the subject of “Lua” and part subject of “Land Locked Blues” on the I’m Wide Awake It’s Morning. Sometime after the release, Laura (aka Breezy) committed suicide. Conor than dedicated Cassadaga to her memory (as you can see through the spectuscope decoder included with purchase). She is also mentioned on the song “Reinvent the Wheel” and the entire subject of the song “Breezy,” which is perhaps one of his best lighter songs.

I believe Conor Oberst is currently 29 years old at this time

Comment by Josh

Ja, Conor Oberst has now, in 2009, surpassed the Curse of 27, but when I wrote this way back in 2006, he was only 26, and as far as I’m aware, he wasn’t clean quite yet, so there was still suicide…not suicide… Also, I’d picked out many of the songs about Laura (Laura Laurent?)because she intrigues me, but I didn’t really like Cassadaga and beyond (not much at all), so I didn’t spin the albums all that much. Still don’t. Same with Jenny Lewis ever since Under the Blacklight, though I’m much more familiar with her more recent work than I am with Conor’s. I like to keep an eye out for them, though.

Comment by indiechouette

Hello there! I know this is somewhat off topic but
I was wondering which blog platform are
you using for this site? I’m getting tired of WordPress because I’ve had issues with hackers and I’m looking at options for another platform. I would be awesome if you could point me in the direction of a good platform.

Comment by Danielle

I used WordPress the whole time I ran this site. Now I use Tumblr for my new blog, but that’s a bit of a mixed bag because it’s based so firmly on Reblogging.

Comment by indiechouette

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