And Snowden, ahh, je t’aime parce que tu m’aides toujours, comme un vrai ami.

I’m just a little disappointed that you underestimated me by thinking I’d find this a bit too harsh, realperson102. Because obviously, I’m balled up on the floor in fetal position. You cut me deep, realperson102. Not sure how I’ll ever recover. It will, indeed, hurt forever.

Leverett was a name chosen by my little sister and it kind of stuck. I know you’re not interested at all, so I’ll continue by telling you that la chouette isn’t my favourite animal (I prefer giraffes). In fact, don’t you think that the owl is a little trite, too? Maybe I should change that. Everyone likes owls these days. So if I’m so indie, why did I choose it to represent myself? Probably because I’m a complete conformist and I like to pretend I’m so different when in actuality, I’m exactly like everyone else in the world. Probably infinitely more dull. After all, you can create whatever persona you like on the internet. Yeah, so that’s me. I’m fake green, fake indie, fake vegetarian. Brainless.

Oh, by the way, thank you very much. Next time I attempt to save an infant animal, I will use your remedy. Kill ‘em early, right? But I think you’re referring to phoenix tears, and unfortunately, despite the fact that I apparently cry so frequently, I am not a phoenix, and I don’t exactly have access to a phoenix. Maybe I should summon all my bird friends or something, except I can’t because I need to change the owl thing because owls are too popular right now, and I am not chouette enough, if by “chouette” you mean the alternate/slang adjective meaning, which is “neat” as in “cool.”

I just handed you another reason to mock me. Go on.

Mais vous avez raison dans une point. I don’t matter the slightest bit, not to anyone, I’ve probably never been in love, and when it comes down to it, I probably never will matter, or else it will be a long time before I do. Good thing I haven’t grown up yet, though, because despite the fact that I’m almost eighteen and still a child, wouldn’t it be a most terrible failure (more terrible than the current state of failure) if I felt that I was, in fact, “grown up” and I was writing like this? Yes, I think that would be worse.

to the person who cried when they read this – i puked.

to the person who said that “it never stops hurting,” – i’m pretty much positive that it will stop hurting at some point.

leverett is a really indie name, kudos. if you find a baby owl, what will you name that? is that your favorite animal? i’m really interested.

“speaking of baby animals,” you seem to know a lot about animals. while i’m sure your veterinary knowledge is boundless, i just want you to know that there are a few things you could have done to save leverett’s life. The first is to play him your favorite Bright Eyes song through noise-canceling headphones. The second is to cry and let one of your tears fall onto his downy fur. Didn’t you know tears have healing power?

“I’m a bit of a bitch as far as romance goes. I’m so reluctant.”

Indie owl, why would you ever be reluctant to let someone love you? COULD IT BE that no one, i mean NO ONE, could possibly consider you anything other than a small bit of fluff floating along in the universe without any brain matter or purpose after reading this blog?

was this too harsh? mm… c’est la vie, non?

Oh, and I don’t know if this will help at all. But yesterday, I was talking to one of my friends who graduated same year as me. He went for one semester to a school far from home. Then he decided to move home and go to community college. But now he’s decided that he needs to move away. He needs to go somewhere new to become the person he wants to be.

I know that VCU isn’t a new place for you. But it is a new environment, with new people. Going far away for college, for me, taught me that there is so much diversity in this world. That there is more out there than Lewisburg (or Richmond). I can truly say that experience has changed me for the better and has made me a batter person. I have three more years to go, and half of one (or more, if I can help it) will be spend overseas, traveling Europe. I plan to challenge myself, something that I’ve never done before. I want to throw myself into an entirely new environment and watch myself struggle, because that’s what is going to make me a better, stronger person. Sitting in Lewisburg and going to Bucknell or Lycoming or Penn State–I wouldn’t have struggled. I would have thrived and done amazingly. But it would have been easy. I wouldn’t have changed. And I wanted–I want and need to change.