First, yeah, if it wasn’t rape, then he should have had sex with someone he trusted completely. He should have known that if a girl gets DNA evidence, she can say whatever she wants.

And as terrible as it is that rape happens, and as unpreventable as it mostly is, there are some simple precautions that can be taken if you might be put in a compromising position. And they can save you. Definitely not in every circumstance, because you never really expect that it’s going to happen to you. And obviously, it’s not because of the promiscuous nature of girls. But in this exact case, you can look at some factors and just face-palm because it’s so dumb.

1. The girl has allegedly been raped several times before. If it’s real rape (as in she gave no consent and was forced), then that’s the most uncanny coincidence ever. But it’s still possible. If it’s not (as in she gave consent and regretted it later), then you can just discredit her altogether. Either way, don’t you think she’d have lost her trust for guys yet? Don’t you think that maybe it’s just common sense? I suppose you could argue that she is looking for a trustworthy male figure in her life after all that torture earlier in her life, and having to lock two other guys up. Personally, I would want little to do with guys after that sort of an experience, and sex would be weird and I wouldn’t even feel right having it in a healthy way.

2. My friend allegedly has a history of sexual indecency, et cetera. I didn’t know this because I moved here a year ago, but they tell me (without going into details) that if I’d been here last year, I’d understand. This certainly does not excuse him if he did it, but if the girl knew all of this, she should have taken some simple precautions. However, I suppose that if the girl is a new facet in his life, then she is probably as naive as I am. Additionally, she didn’t even go to our school, which excuses her for not knowing anything. But the red flag should have gone up when he was that forwardly flirtatious with her (because that’s his nature). And also–who really goes on a date with someone before getting to know them enough to trust them–especially when he allegedly blatantly implied sex on the phone call to see if she wanted to go to see a movie. Okay, blind dates, but this wasn’t a blind date. Of course, number two, again, if he really had a desire to change, he shouldn’t have asked her on a quick, no-commitment date and had sex with her when they’re not even dating.

I’m not trying to excuse my friend if he did it, or blame girls who get raped. And I’m not trying to say that consenting to hang out with a guy implies consent to have sex in the small print. All it comes down to is that you can’t expect other people to take care of you all the time. I’m also not saying that all rape can be avoided–the majority of times, it can’t. This circumstance is not one of them. And if a girl can get DNA evidence, she can say what she likes.

I suppose you could say that I would have to be raped in order to fully understand the emotional damage that my friend allegedly inflicted on the girl, but honestly, I would only really have the opportunity to be raped by complete strangers walking home from school some days or by complete strangers/neighbours if they broke into my house at night. I try to avoid dates on simple terms that I rarely have crushes on the people who have crushes on me, and the guy friends I do hang out with on a regular basis are either virgins or uninterested.

I understand that it’s your friend, but what is this bullshit that girls always have to be on guard? Maybe guys shouldn’t have sex with girls unless they’re absolutely sure they’re willing.

He didn’t tell me until a few days later, and I was mortified. The guy, Eric, told his friends, and this led to stares and giggles during band class and lunch for the next few weeks. I thought I was going to die. Yet I still liked him for quite some time afterward. I discussed the issue and my embarrassment with Eric and rationalized that although I liked him, I wouldn’t want to go to Homecoming with him because it would be awkward. After all, it was one of those middle school-esque distance crushes. He seemed cool with it, but it didn’t even remotely start up a friendship. Besides, one of my diplomatic, flirtatious acquaintances was interested in him, and he knew it, so I let her have at him.

In the end, I realized that because he was just as mortified by the phone call as I was, he was not worth pursuing because he was obviously not interested at all. Later that year, I realized he was not worth pursuing because I didn’t even find him attractive anymore. And while I was initially angry at my friend for spilling the beans, I suppose it wasn’t that bad that he did. After all, I couldn’t keep liking this guy I didn’t even really know.

Also, my biff, Erika, said once that she likes it when people point, stare, and/or whisper at or about her when we go places. She said it’s flattering. While I couldn’t grasp this at first, probably because of bouts of teen angst, I now understand that positive feeling.

Additional rumoured details: Apparently, the girl has been raped on at least two other occasions and landed the guys in jail for it. This makes her lose some credibility. It makes it seem like she goes out with guys she doesn’t really care about so that they’ll have sex with her, and then she plays the Virgin Game and turns them in so that her parents don’t get pissed at her for having the sex drive to go out and fuck people. This also means that she threw in the sexual assault thing to give her story credibility, when it was probably just that they went behind Wal-Mart for privacy and went at it without the assault.

And apparently, she isn’t 18 like the articles say, and she is attempting to go for statutory rape. But if the jury or whatever looks at her past in being raped, I hope they won’t convict him. I mean, crying rape every time you have sex and mildly regret it isn’t a game. It’s childish and I hope she pays for it if it wasn’t really rape.

I guess I am being defensive, though, because he is my friend, at least, and he’s always kind to me, and I am concerned about his well-being. After all, he was one of the first people to converse familiarly on the first or third day of school, when I was scared shitless and depressed as a motherfucker.

Anyway, I really have nothing to say. Because I know the rumors and I love gossip as much as the next person and I am not a perfect person. So sometimes I believe the rumors. Sometimes I don’t. It just depends. If I hear something bad about a person I don’t like, I believe some of it. If I hear something bad about a person I do like, I defend them. But I know what it’s like to be on the other end of a rumor. To have something going around school about you that you know isn’t true, but that people will believe anyway. It’s just the way high school is, and I’ve realized that as long as I know the truth and those that are closest to me know the truth, it’s all that matters.

People can think what they want. I almost like to hear them whispering or see them staring because hey, I’m getting attention. I’m on their minds. And maybe, if just for a little while, that makes me remembered. That makes me important. I was special enough to be a part of their thoughts for a few minutes or hours or days. And later, years down the road, or maybe even this year during freshman year of college, they were looking back over their yearbooks and remembering those things they thought about me. And they’ll be thinking, “How could I ever think that? It’s so obvious that it wasn’t true.” It was just high school. They are completely forgiven by me.

Rumors are a funny thing. The world would be such a better place without them. But in a weird way, they do their part to make people happy, be in immediately or gradually.